Lilly's Pill-Popping Party Doesn't Stop for CVS's Silly Shenanigans!

BOOM! Lilly's First Quarter Rocks (Almost)

Okay so like Eli Lilly just totally smashed their first quarter right? Sales went KA POW! GLP 1 meds are flying off the shelves faster than free cookies. Everyone's getting their hands on Mounjaro and Zepbound! But hold on... it's not all confetti and explosions.

CVS and Novo Sitting in a Tree K I S S I N G...and Messing with Lilly!

CVS and Novo Nordisk are suddenly BFFs? Apparently CVS wants Wegovy to be the only cool kid on the block. They're ditching Zepbound! Seriously? It's like they're trying to ruin the party. But don't worry I'm not one to back down from a little bit of chaos. I say: 'Rules are meant to be broken!'

Lilly's Boss Man Throws Shade (Subtly)

Lilly's CEO David Ricks is all chill about it like 'Whatever we're too cool for these deals.' He says they're gonna keep making better meds and not try to control everyone's choices! He's betting on innovation like that new oral GLP 1 pill orforglipron. Pill poppers unite! No more needles just pure unadulterated medicated FUN!

Stock Plummets! Is This The End Times?!

Alright alright so the stock took a nosedive. But who cares about a few falling numbers? Honestly if you let a few bad days ruin your whole week you're doing it wrong! Besides it's just a temporary blip. Like that time I accidentally painted the whole town pink…it was temporary.

Oral GLP 1: The Pill That's Gonna Save the World (Maybe)

Let's talk about that orforglipron pill! It's like a game changer. Easy to make easy to ship and people actually prefer pills over stabby stabby needles. Seriously who likes needles? 'Here comes the rocket!' says my arm. The best part? It might even help people keep the weight off WITHOUT needing as much medicine. Score!

Lilly's Still Gonna Be Huge (Probably)

So CVS is doing its thing but Lilly's not sweating it. They're still predicting HUGE sales for the year. They got those GLP 1 drugs Alzheimer's treatments and a whole bunch of other stuff. They are basically saying: 'Say hello to my friends!' Plus their best in class drugs will keep them on top for years! So yeah I'm still betting on Lilly. Now where's my rocket launcher?