Kaboom! Stocks Ready to Explode in Second Half (Or Not, Who Cares?)

Trump's Tariff Tantrums and Boom Boom Prices

Okay so apparently grown up suits on Wall Street are all jittery about this Trump dude's 'tariffs'. Sounds like a fancy word for 'taxing stuff,' which is boring. They're whining about a 'recession' and 'inflation.' All I hear is 'blah blah blah.' If you ask me sounds like the perfect time to blow something up! Maybe a giant inflatable bouncy castle filled with money? That'll get the economy going! Honestly these guys need to loosen up. 'Rules are meant to be broken!'... Just like buildings!

June Jitters and Iranian Fireworks (Literally)

So the S&P 500 went up a teensy bit in June after a bigger jump in May. Ho hum. Then BOOM! America decided to play fireworks with Iran. Nuclear sites? Sounds fun! (Disclaimer: Jinx does *not* condone actual nuclear warfare unless it involves glitter and a really REALLY big bang). Anyway all this means more wibbly wobbly stocks. I'm starting to get that 'itch' in my fingers just waiting to pull a trigger...or buy some stock. Whichever!

The 'Experts' and Their Crystal Balls

These 'analysts' are waving their magic calculators and saying some stocks might be good. They have this super complicated checklist: S&P 1500 (whatever that is) a billion dollars (that's a LOT of candy money!) and at least 65% of them agreeing. Sounds like a recipe for a boring committee meeting but hey maybe they're onto something. Or maybe they're just making stuff up. Either way fun to watch!

Solar Power? More Like Bore ar Power!

First Solar is apparently a thing. They make solar panels. Yawn. Apparently they're good at it and some suit named Jeff Osborne says they're better than the competition especially in hot humid places. Well good for them. Personally I prefer to keep things cool by causing explosions! But if you're into sunshine and stuff this might be your jam. Analysts are predicting a price jump? Maybe I should invest just so I can blow up their stock price when it goes up for fun! Ha!

Salesforce: Selling... Stuff?

Next up is Salesforce run by a guy named Marc Benioff. Their stock is doing the opposite of exploding – it's slumped! Some other suit Matthew VanVliet thinks they're gonna make bank from 'AI.' Sounds like robot brains to me. That could be cool maybe I could make them explode too?! He thinks the stock will go up. But I think I would rather play with my Pow Pow! If robot brains start controlling our stock I am out!

The Rest of the Bunch: Snore a Mundo!

And then there's a bunch of other companies – BioMarin Light & Wonder Fiserv and Burlington Stores. Honestly they all sound super dull. Probably sell beige paint or something. I'm sure they're great and all but I'm already planning my next heist. Stocks are boring mayhem is forever!! Besides you know what they say 'Here comes Jinx!'