Kaboom! Israel and Iran Go Fireworks Crazy! (And Trump's Loving It!)

Air Raid Rave!

Okay so like BOOM! Israel and Iran are totally not getting along. Missiles flying everywhere sirens wailing – sounds like a super fun rave right? Tel Aviv Jerusalem… even *they* got party invites! Everyone's hiding in shelters which is kinda lame. Where's the fun in THAT? I mean 'rules are made to be broken,' right? But hey at least there's some action! Gives me something to WATCH! This is way more interesting than Powder's stupid tinkering.

Iran Says 'Hold My Missile'

Iran's like 'Oh you wanna play? I'll show you play!' They're threatening to keep the party going and even invite the US bases – more targets yay! They launched a whole bunch of missiles and apparently Tehran's air defenses are doing some kind of dance to block them. I bet it's not as cool as my dance with Fishbones! Seriously though they're calling it 'Hard Retaliation.' Sounds like someone's REALLY mad. I feel you buddy! 'Here comes trouble make it double!' or in this case make it like a million.

Iron Dome Saves the Day (Or Does It?)

So Israel's got this thing called the 'Iron Dome' – sounds kinda lame but it shoots down missiles. BOOO! Where's the fun in that? It's like saying no to extra explosions! But whatever they're telling everyone to stay safe. Meanwhile the US is apparently helping out shooting down missiles and stuff. They've got Navy ships and ground interceptors all over the place. Sounds like a whole bunch of grown ups trying to ruin the fun. 'Relax it's just a prank!'

Trump's Two Cents: 'Merica!

Oh and guess who's got an opinion? Trump! He's all like 'Yeah Israel's got the best equipment because it's American!' He even talked to the big wigs in Israel and Saudi Arabia. Of course he did! Gotta get his name in there somewhere. He's also nagging Iran to make a deal or else! Sounds like someone's having a midlife crisis of some sort. He needs to CHILLL!

Markets Go Boom (Not the Good Kind)

All this missile madness is freaking out the stock market! It's dropping faster than I can chug a soda. Everyone's worried about a bigger war. Pfft scaredy cats! Where's the fun in being all doom and gloom. Lighten up! This is like the ultimate reality show! 'Smile! You never know who is falling in love with it.'

No More Talking? Party Foul!

And get this the US and Iran were supposed to have some talks about the whole nuke thing but now they're off! Postponed cancelled poof! Like magic. Everyone's blaming each other and Trump's yelling about deals. Seriously can't anyone just chill for a minute? But no gotta keep the chaos coming! It's like they KNOW I'm watching and need my daily dose of crazy!