India's Economy Goes Boom or Bust?! Blame it on America! (and Maybe the Weather!)

Pow Pow Power Cut! Rates Slashed!

Alright you bunch of Powder Monkeys! Jinx here reporting LIVE from... well wherever I feel like! So India's central bank (who names these guys anyway?!) decided to chop their interest rates like I chop through Piltover's finest security bots. Apparently they're worried about growth. Grow what? Bigger explosions? I'm in! They lowered it to 6% – the lowest since like before I even decided explosions were my thing! What's next? Free Fishbones for everyone?!

Uncle Sam's Got a New Toy: Tariffs!

Turns out those pesky Americans decided to slap some tariffs on India. Tariffs Schmarrifs! Sounds boring! But apparently it's messing with things. The big brains at the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) are saying these tariffs are making everything uncertain. Uncertainty? Sounds like a Tuesday! RBI Governor Sanjay Malhotra (sounds like a robot name!) is all 'We're shifting to accommodative!' Which I think means 'We're panicking but trying to sound cool!'

India's All 'We're Totally Cooler Than China!'

Malhotra bot also said India's better off than other countries when it comes to these tariff tantrums. Something about a smaller trade surplus and lower 'reciprocal' tariffs. Reciprocal? What does that even mean? I just know they're saying they're not as doomed as China! Hah! Sucks to be them! Still he's more worried about growth. Again grow what?! I have questions!

Inflation's Chill But is India Just… Chilling Too Much?

Apparently inflation is cooling down which is apparently a good thing. Something about vegetables being cheap? Who cares about vegetables?! Give me rockets! The RBI thinks inflation will hit their target of 4%. But the economy is still kinda slow. They're blaming it on the 'challenging global environment'. Typical. Always blaming the environment! Why not blame the pigeons?!

GDP? More Like 'GDPee' It's Weak!

India's GDP grew by a measly 6.2% in the last quarter. Experts (yawn) are saying it's gonna slow down even more! Some smarty pants at HSBC even said the tariffs will shave off half a percent of India's growth. And some other expert Sanjay Mathur (another robot name!) thinks growth could even go *below* 6%! Below?! That's like almost not growing at all!

Heatwave! Tariff Troubles! Is India Doomed?!

Oh and did I mention there's a heatwave?! Apparently that's bad for farming and farming is like a big deal for India's money. So yeah tariffs slow growth and now the sun's trying to melt everything. Sounds like a perfect opportunity for some… controlled chaos! But hey at least inflation is low thanks to cheap veggies right? Right?! Time to paint the town... or maybe just find some AC.