Estee-LAU-DER?! More Like Estee-BORED-ER! (But Maybe Not, Says Some Guy)

From $375 to Face Plant: A Tragedy in Mascara

Okay so I heard some whispers about this company Estee Lauder or whatever almost face planting into the ground. Apparently they went from being all high and mighty at $375 a share to… *drumroll*… under $50! Hahaha! That's like going from Powder Monkey to Cannon Fodder in a flash! Even Fishbones thinks that's a wild ride. But hey at least it's more exciting than watching paint dry right?

Enter: Some Guy Named Steve (Who Thinks He Knows Stuff)

Now some Steve dude from Deutsche Bank (sounds German so probably serious... or maybe just REALLY into sausages) says they're gonna be okay. He even upgraded their stock! Like gave it a gold star or something. He's all like 'Oh they fixed their mistakes!' Mistakes? Making people look boring? Is that what he means? I coulda told them that for free!

China Crisis! (Or How Estee Lauder Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Other Countries)

Apparently Estee Lauder was obsessed with China. Like REALLY obsessed. Steve here thinks that was a bad idea. Duh! Everyone knows you need to spread the chaos around! Focus on Piltover! Or Zaun! Now they are seemingly going to spread the chaos! He said that they can handle the problems. I can handle problems a whole lot better.

Inventory Balance? Investment Requirements? Zzzzz...

Okay this part is boring. Something about inventories and investments. I almost fell asleep. Wake me up when there's explosions. Seriously though Steve seems to think these things are good signs. Me? I think explosions are good signs. But hey what do I know?

Up Up and... Maybe Away?

The stock went up a bit after Steve's little pep talk. Like 2%. Woo hoo. Call me when it doubles. Or explodes. Honestly 'slightly above flat' sounds like a really depressing description of a pancake. I prefer mine with extra syrup and a side of mayhem.

So What's the Verdict Sparky?

Look I don't know anything about stocks. I know about rockets and sharks with frickin' laser beams. But if some serious sounding sausage loving dude thinks Estee Lauder isn't a total lost cause maybe they're worth a second look. Or maybe not. Just don't come crying to me if your investment goes kaboom! Remember 'Rules are made to be broken! Like buildings! Or people!'