Elon Musk Building a Giant Space Laser?! Is This Gonna Be Fun or What!

Kaboom? Kaboom!

Okay people listen up! Word on the street is that Elon Musk yeah the guy who's probably as crazy as me is building a giant space laser! Or uh a missile defense shield thingy called 'Golden Dome.' Whatever! More importantly it might go KABOOM! And you KNOW I love kabooms! He's teaming up with some other techy peeps Palantir and Anduril to make this happen. Sounds like a party waiting to explode right? I'm so excited I could bite a cupcake... or blow one up! *giggles maniacally*

Trump's Toy or Musk's Dream?

So this 'Golden Dome' thing was apparently Trump's idea. He thinks missiles are like the biggest threat ever. Duh everything is a threat! Especially boredom! Anyway these companies are all cozy with Trump donating tons of cash and stuff. Musk is even some kind of advisor now? Cutting government spending? Ha! He's probably planning on buying the moon with it! But seriously if this thing actually works maybe I can finally get my hands on a real laser cannon. Dreams right?

Satellites Galore! Aim for the Stars!

The plan is to launch like a gazillion satellites into space. Some to watch for missiles and some to get this SHOOT THEM DOWN! Pew pew! I call dibs on naming them! How about 'Fishbones 2.0'? Or maybe 'Pow Pow in Space'? They say SpaceX isn't doing the actual shooting part but come on who are they kidding? Every good explosion needs a little help from its friends! This sounds better than a firecracker convention in Piltover!

Pay to Play: The Subscription Model!

Here's where it gets interesting. Musk wants the government to pay for this thing like a subscription service! Like Netflix but for blowing up missiles! Genius! Pay monthly and get access to explosions! The Pentagon is a little worried they might get stuck paying forever and lose control. Cry babies! They should just be happy someone is trying to keep them safe! Although knowing my luck I'd probably accidentally subscribe to 'Exploding Kittens' instead of 'Exploding Missiles'.

Silicon Valley Takes Over!

If Musk and his pals win this thing it's a HUGE deal for Silicon Valley. All those old boring defense companies are gonna be so mad! It's like when I showed up in Piltover and blew up all their fancy robots! Except you know on a much much larger scale! Maybe they should consider hiring me as a consultant. I'm excellent at 'disrupting' things. *winks*

Can They Actually Pull It Off? Booooring!

Of course some nerds are saying it might be too hard. That SpaceX has never built anything this important before. Blah blah blah! Details details! If I listened to the naysayers I'd never have painted a shark on a missile! So yeah maybe it'll be a total disaster. But even if it is at least it'll be a *spectacular* disaster! And that's all that matters right? Now where's my rocket launcher...?