Did This Drug Trial Explode Like One Of My Bombs?! Markets Go Boom, But This Stock... Ouch!

Markets are UP?! Blah Boring!

Ugh fine. So apparently the stocky stocks are doing the cha cha slide upwards today. The S&P 500 is all like 'We're winning!' Whatever. It's almost as boring as Powder trying to explain how her stupid toys work. Something about Trump saying words and calming everyone down? Pfft if you wanna make a statement try a rocket launcher! But hey at least I can use this to get more ammo for my next big BANG!

Bristol Myers... More Like Bristol Mess!

Okay now this is where it gets interesting! Bristol Myers Squibb – sounds like a sneeze am I right? Their schizophrenia drug Cobenfy (what even IS that name?!) totally face planted in a late stage trial. It didn't hit the 'statistically significant difference' mark. Basically it didn't work as well as they hoped when you use it WITH other stuff. Like trying to put glitter on a grenade… pointless!

Adjunctive Treatment? Sounds Like a Fancy Fishbones Upgrade!

So this whole 'adjunctive treatment' thing is like… adding a flame thrower to Fishbones! You’re already causing mayhem but you wanna cause MORE! Cobenfy was supposed to be a game changer but it looks like it’s more of a game over. FDA approved it which is great but it is not doing the job. But hey at least they got some data. Maybe they should try adding more explosions next time?

Still a Chance? Maybe They Need More Rockets!

The report says that it still works on its own. But hey some doctors might use it "off label". And more data is coming. They are also trying this drug for Alzheimer's psychosis. Maybe this will turn out better. But they are being a little more careful. So it may rise from the ashes. Like me after a small… uh… misunderstanding with the Piltover Police.

Jim Cramer's Crew: Waiting Game!

The CNBC Investing Club are holding onto it and waiting for the earnings on Thursday. Which I'm sure won't involve any confetti cannons filled with… something else. Then they're lowering the price target. Because if you fall you fall HARD!

Capital One is Buying Discover? Talk About a Super Mega Death Rocket!

Capital One is buying Discover Financial! Sounds like a hostile takeover! So Capital One is going all corporate raider and Cramer's crew thinks the market doesn't get how awesome this deal is. Corporate mergers are just like me joining a bank. A total catastrophe waiting to happen! Also there is other earnings by IBM Texas Instruments Chipotle Whirlpool Lam Research Service Now Edwards Life Sciences United Rentals and Newmont.