Amazon Shareholders Say 'NOPE' to Splitting the Boss in Two! More Power to Jassy I say!

Shareholders? More Like *Snore*holders!

Ugh seriously? Did you guys hear about this super boring shareholder meeting at Amazon? Apparently some peeps wanted to SPLIT the CEO and board chair roles! Like cut them in half with Fishbones! Can you imagine? More importantly what's more fun than blowing up a business from the inside? 'Rules are made to be broken!' that's what I always say!

The 'Split the Boss' Proposal: A Big Fat Fail!

So these *snore* holders (I'm trademarking that by the way) wanted to make it a RULE that the CEO and board chair had to be different people. Apparently they thought it would make things more 'accountable' or something. About 82% of shareholders said 'NOPE!' to that idea. Can't say I blame them. Rules are for chumps! Besides who needs accountability when you have chaos and mayhem? It's like Powder always told me 'Don't cry; you're perfect!'

Bezos's Big Boy Pants: Executive Chairman!

Remember when Jeff Bezos that bald dude who looks like he enjoys money baths handed over the CEO gig to Andy Jassy? He didn't disappear; he just became the 'Executive Chairman.' Sounds fancy right? Kinda like my rocket launcher Fishbones but less explody and more... boardroom y. Blah!

Amazon's Response: 'Mind Your Own Business!'

Amazon was all 'Hey we're doing just fine thanks. We'll decide who runs what when and how. It's like they’re saying 'If you can't beat 'em blow 'em up!' Which honestly is a pretty solid business strategy. 'Here comes the money!' I can't find any money in Amazon's strategy though because it involves zero explosions.

Harvard Law School? More Like *Boring*vard Law School!

Some nerds at Harvard Law School (gag) pointed out that these 'split the boss' proposals are getting more popular. Who cares? I'm pretty sure juggling grenades is also getting more popular... at least in my neighborhood. 'Questions questions that need answering like how much is enough and who's asking?'

Chaos Reigns Supreme!

So there you have it! The shareholders said 'no' to splitting the bosses Amazon gets to keep doing its thing and I'm still trying to figure out how to break into their headquarters for a little 'redecorating.' You know some paint here a few well placed bombs there... 'It's more fun to watch than to do!' Nah I'm just kidding... unless?