Iron Man's Take: Oil Prices Surge as Tensions Flare in the Middle East!

Boom! Boom! Goes the Oil Price

Alright folks Tony Stark here your friendly neighborhood genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and now apparently geopolitical analyst. Seems like things are heating up in the Middle East faster than Pepper when I leave my socks on the floor. News flash: crude oil futures are up more than 1% after Netanyahu went all 'Hulk smash!' on Iran. Seriously who needs fireworks when you've got international conflict? U.S. crude's at $76.50 a barrel Brent's at $77.80. I swear if I wasn't busy saving the world I'd be shorting the heck out of this market. JARVIS remind me to look into oil futures... after I save the world again.

Seven Days of Pounding... And My Bank Account Cries

Apparently prices have jumped over 11% since Israel decided to re enact a Michael Bay movie on Iran's nuclear and missile programs. Netanyahu's ordered the military to hit 'strategic targets' and 'government targets' in Tehran. You know because subtlety is overrated. Katz Israel's Defense Minister even took to social media to announce the whole thing. Social media! Back in my day we just blew stuff up and told people later. Now they tweet about it. Honestly the world's gone mad. JARVIS remind me to buy more oil companies... before they get blown up.

Ayatollah's Regime: Undermined or Underestimated?

The goal? To 'undermine the ayatollah's regime.' Ambitious I'll give them that. But as someone who's tried to dismantle a few villainous empires in my time I can tell you it's not as easy as ordering a pizza. Apparently all this escalation started after an Iranian missile hit a hospital in Beersheba. Rough day for everyone involved I'd say. Katz then threatened Ayatollah Khamenei because apparently subtlety went out the window with dial up internet. He said the military knows that Khamenei 'absolutely should not continue to exist.' Yikes. Tell it like it is I guess. JARVIS run simulations on worst case scenarios involving global conflict... and order me a pizza.

Trump Card: To Strike or Not To Strike?

And then there's President Trump weighing whether to join the party with a U.S. strike on Iran's nuclear program. 'I may do it I may not do it I mean nobody knows what I'm going to do,' he told reporters. Classic Trump. Always keeping us on the edge of our seats like a reality TV show. Frankly I'm starting to think world leaders are just improvising at this point. JARVIS check my schedule... I might need to intervene. You know before someone accidentally starts World War III.

JPMorgan's Crystal Ball: Higher Oil Prices Ahead!

JPMorgan's warning that regime change in Iran could send oil prices skyrocketing. Iran's a big player in OPEC which let's be honest is just a fancy cartel. Natasha Kaneva head of global commodities research at JPMorgan said that 'further destabilization of Iran could lead to significantly higher oil prices sustained over extended periods.' Thanks Natasha. I could have figured that out with a calculator and a half eaten donut. Supply losses are 'challenging to recover quickly,' she added. You don't say! So basically buckle up buttercups because your next gas bill is going to make you cry. Time to invest in electric cars… or maybe just fly everywhere. JARVIS remind me to buy stock in clean energy... and invest in a bigger jet.

Stark's Conclusion: Get Ready for the Ride

So there you have it folks. The Middle East is volatile oil prices are climbing and world leaders are playing a high stakes game of Risk. As always I'll be here doing my best to keep the planet from imploding. But in the meantime maybe start carpooling. Or you know invest in a suit of armor. It's eco friendly...ish. And remember no matter how crazy things get there's always room for a little Stark level sarcasm. JARVIS cue the rock music. I need to go invent something.