Goldman and Wells Fargo Flex Their Financial Muscles Thanks to the Fed! (And I'm Not Talking About J. Powell's Biceps)

Stress Tests? More Like a Spa Day for These Banks!

Alright folks let's cut the chit chat. Apparently the Federal Reserve did their annual 'stress test' on the big banks. You know like how Pepper makes me run diagnostics on the Iron Man suit every other Tuesday (it's exhausting). Anyway Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo apparently aced it. Morgan Stanley – not my favorite Morgan by the way – called them the 'biggest winners.' Seriously? Biggest winners? What do they get a year's supply of gold bullion? Because I could use some more of that for uh 'scientific research.'

Lower Buffers Higher Dividends... Sounds Like a Party!

So these 'stress capital buffers' – basically emergency funds for banks – got lowered for Goldman and Wells. Translation: they don't have to be so stingy with their cash. This means dividends share buybacks... basically they get to spread the wealth. Well hopefully. Look I'm not saying I'm going to raid their vaults – JARVIS can handle that with ease – but a little appreciation for saving the world now and then wouldn't hurt right?

Trump's Washington: Making Banks Great Again One Deregulation at a Time!

Word on the street – or rather Wall Street – is that regulations are easing up under the Trump administration. Makes it easier to buy government bonds lend money... basically be banks. Even the Fed's new vice chair Michelle Bowman is saying things are getting 'less onerous.' Less onerous? Is that even a word? Sounds like something Obadiah Stane would say before trying to steal my arc reactor... Anyway good for them I guess. Less paperwork for everyone!

IPO Mania and Asset Cap Freedom: It's a Good Time to Be a Bank

Goldman is raking it in underwriting IPOs for companies I've never heard of – Chime and eToro? Sounds like something Pepper would download on her phone. Wells Fargo got their 'asset cap' removed after seven long years. Seven years! I haven't worn the same suit for seven *days*. And Capital One is buying Discover for like a billion dollars. Okay $35 billion. Whatever. Point is everyone's making money. And that’s how it should be.

Bottom Line: Time to Buy Bank Stocks? Cramer Says So!

So what's the takeaway? The Fed's chillin' regulations are relaxin' and banks are makin' bank. Goldman's expanding their wealth management thing Wells is getting into investment banking... it's a regular financial renaissance! Even that motormouth Jim Cramer says it's time to buy Capital One stock. Apparently they're gonna 'take on American Express.' Good luck with that. Don't they know I have an Amex Centurion card made of vibranium? It's not something you want to mess with.

Stark's Final Thoughts

And remember folks as I always say: 'Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.' And sometimes you gotta buy bank stocks before they skyrocket. But always consult your financial advisor before listening to a billionaire playboy philanthropist! Stark out!