Walmart's Money Transfer Shenanigans: A $10 Million Lesson in 'Fortune and Glory'!

Snakes. Why Did It Have To Be Snakes...And Scammers?

Alright folks gather 'round. Seems our friends at Walmart have found themselves in a bit of a pickle a $10 million pickle to be precise. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) bless their bureaucratic hearts accused them of turning a blind eye to scammers using their money transfer services to shall we say liberate consumers of their hard earned cash. It appears fortune and glory wasn't the only thing at stake here but rather people's life savings I HATE THESE GUYS!

It Belongs in a Museum! (Or You Know a Courtroom)

The FTC in its infinite wisdom pointed out that these electronic money transfers are a favorite tool for con artists. Once that money is gone it's like trying to find a specific grain of sand in the Sahara. The FTC's Christopher Mufarrige noted that companies providing these services need to train their employees to comply with the law. Apparently 'trust me' doesn't quite cut it in the world of finance. I didn't even trust Belloq and I knew him for years!

Walmart's Response: "I'm Making This Up As I Go!"

Now Walmart in true corporate fashion neither admitted nor denied any wrongdoing. They just agreed to settle. Classic. They've also promised not to process suspicious money transfers. You know the kind where someone's claiming to be an IRS agent or a long lost relative in dire need of bail money. Seriously people still fall for that? It's like the oldest trick in the book! I've heard better stories from Short Round!

The Art of the Con: From Fake Lotteries to Phantom Relatives

The schemes these fraudsters cooked up were truly something. Impersonating IRS agents? Check. Pretending to be family members needing money to avoid jail? Double check. Promising lottery winnings in exchange for fees? Triple check. It's like they were taking notes from Belloq on how to be the most despicable human being on the planet!

The Judge's Verdict: 'Asps. Very Dangerous...You Go First.'

U.S. District Judge Manish Shah initially dismissed part of the FTC's case but allowed the rest to proceed. Walmart naturally appealed. But this settlement puts an end to that which is probably for the best. I wouldn't want to see them end up like those guys who opened the Ark of the Covenant. Now THAT was a bad day at the office.

So What Have We Learned? (Besides "Don't Trust Snakes")

So there you have it. Another day another corporate dust up. But the lesson here is clear: always be vigilant don't trust anyone promising you easy money and for goodness sake if someone claiming to be from the IRS calls you hang up! And if you happen to stumble upon a golden idol in a booby trapped temple maybe think twice before grabbing it. Some things are just not worth the trouble... unlike this story! I should start writing more often!