Top Men! Top Men Sharing Secrets on Signal? A National Security Fiasco!

Snakes. Why Did It Have To Be Snakes? (And Signal Apps?)

Well hello there. Indiana Jones here your friendly neighborhood archaeologist and occasional defier of death. I've seen my share of treacherous traps but this...this is a whole new level of booby trap. Word on the street – or rather the internet – is that National Security Advisor Mike Waltz is packing his bags likely because someone thought it was a bright idea to discuss top secret military plans on a Signal messaging group. I hate snakes Jock hates flying and I’m pretty sure the American public hates it when classified intelligence gets treated like a neighborhood gossip session.

Trust Me I Know What I'm Doing (Narrator: He Didn't)

Apparently this Signal group wasn't exactly a who's who of discretion. It included big shots like Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth Secretary of State Marco Rubio and even some journalist chap named Jeffrey Goldberg from The Atlantic. Now I'm no expert in modern technology – give me a bullwhip and a fedora any day – but even I know that journalists and classified intel don't mix like peanut butter and...well anything dangerous. Especially when those texts ended with Hegseth on March 15 detailing plans that 'included precise information about weapons packages targets and timing' of attacks.

Fortune and Glory Kid. Fortune and Glory (And Maybe Some Accountability?)

Goldberg spilled the beans – or rather the digital ink – and now Waltz is looking for a new job. Trump ever the optimist apparently told The Atlantic that Waltz was 'fine' just before this whole mess hit the fan. Reminds me of the time I was 'fine' dangling off a cliff with a horde of angry natives below. Good times. Also apparently Hegseth shared some of this information with his wife brother attorney and aides... Seriously? Did they not learn anything from my adventures? Loose lips sink ships or in this case careers.

It Belongs in a Museum! (Or You Know a Secure Server)

The Pentagon's internal watchdog is now sniffing around investigating Hegseth for his Signal shenanigans. They're trying to figure out if anyone broke the rules by using a 'commercial messaging application for official business.' Now I've dealt with my fair share of bureaucratic red tape but this seems like a pretty straightforward case of 'don't do that!' You wouldn't keep the Ark of the Covenant in your garage would you? (Okay maybe someone would...)

We Are Only Walkers in His Footsteps (Of Past Mistakes)

Of course this isn't the first time a Trump administration official has stumbled over classified information. Remember Michael Flynn who lasted about as long as a Nazi in a room full of righteous anger? He had to resign for misleading ol' mate Pence about his conversations with the Russians. And let's not forget the good ol' pardon by Trump which occurred in late 2020. It's like history's trying to tell us something but are we listening?

Next Time Let's Stick To Ancient Artifacts Shall We?

So there you have it. Another day another national security headache. Maybe next time we should all just focus on finding lost relics and leaving the military secrets to you know people who know how to keep a secret. Now if you'll excuse me I hear there's a priceless artifact hidden in the Amazon. And I'm pretty sure the local tribes don't have Signal.