Tesla's Production Line Snakebite! Cybertruck Dreams Delayed (Again!)

No Time for Love Dr. Jones! (Just Production Issues)

Right then mates! Yours truly Indiana Jones here. Seems our pal Elon – you know the 'genius billionaire playboy philanthropist' type though I'm not sure about the philanthropist part these days – has hit a snag. Word on the street (or more accurately from *Business Insider* which I trust more than Short Round’s directions) is that Tesla's put the brakes on Cybertruck and Model Y production in Austin for a week. Maintenance they say. Sure maintenance. I bet there are snakes in there too. Why is it always snakes?

Robotaxis Rumble into Town: A New Kind of Holy Grail?

Now while the assembly lines are taking a siesta Tesla's gearing up to unleash its Model Y robotaxis in Austin. These metal chariots are supposedly equipped with a 'Full Self Driving' system. I've seen self driving carts in Shanghai that were more reliable! Musk even retweeted a video trying to drum up some excitement. Reminds me of that time I found the Ark of the Covenant; everyone was excited until well you know… faces melted.

Fortune and Glory? More Like Fury and Worry!

But hold your horses! Not everyone's thrilled about these robotic roadsters. Public safety groups are raising a red flag claiming Tesla's self driving tech has more than a few hiccups. Apparently these vehicles have been involved in quite a few accidents some of them fatal. Makes you wonder if they should be chasing fortune and glory or just sticking to making toasters.

Autopilot? More Like Auto Pilot Error!

They're selling these cars with 'Autopilot' and 'Full Self Driving' options. Sounds fancy right? But this isn't about lounging back while the car does all the work. Data suggests this systems are a recipe for disaster. It's like trusting a Nazi with a map to the Well of Souls only worse. At least the Nazi's knew how to drive.

The Dawn Project Strikes Back (With Mannequins)

One group the Dawn Project even staged a demonstration where a Model Y running the current FSD software plowed right into a mannequin representing a child. A mannequin! Imagine what it would do to a real kid. That's not an archeological find; it's a potential tragedy waiting to happen! And it turns out the head of Dawn Project sells technology to Tesla's competitors. Could this get more complicated?

Tesla's Stock Takes a Dive: I Hate These Production Hiccups!

And to top it all off Tesla's shares took a tumble. Seems the market isn't too keen on production delays and safety concerns. All I can say is they should've invested in a good whip and a trusty fedora. At least *those* never go out of style... or cause fatal accidents (unless you count that boulder incident). Jones out.