Google's AI Gold Rush: Another Temple of Doom for Startups?

Fortune and Glory Kid...and Maybe Some Google Stock

Right where were we? Ah yes Google. Seems they're at it again digging for treasure only this time it's not in some dusty tomb but in the digital ether. They've announced this 'AI Futures Fund,' promising untold riches to startups brave enough to venture into the Temple of AI. Investment early access to their precious AI models and even Google engineers holding their hands? Sounds like a trap but a tempting one I admit. Remember what happened last time someone got too greedy with ancient artifacts? 'It belongs in a museum!' and preferably not in the hands of a tech giant I say.

Snakes. Why Did It Have to Be Snakes...and Cloud Credits?

Of course there's a catch. To get your hands on this Google gold you'll need to navigate a pit of snakes – I mean technical hurdles and bureaucratic red tape. But hey they're throwing in Google Cloud credits so at least you'll have a comfy cloud to rest on while you're wrestling those serpents. It appears that 'select startups get the opportunity to seek direct investment from Google to fuel growth and scale AI development,' the blog post states. Very tempting but remember X never ever marks the spot.

Amazon and Microsoft? More Like Belloq and Toht!

Now Google's not the only one playing this game. Amazon and Microsoft those old rivals are already backing AI startups like they're hoarding Ark of the Covenant. 'They're digging in the wrong place!' I want to shout but then again maybe there's enough AI treasure for everyone...or maybe it's all just fool's gold. Time will tell I suppose.

A Billion Here a Billion There...Pretty Soon You're Talking Real Money

This isn't Google's first rodeo mind you. They already dropped over a billion on Anthropic a generative AI startup. It builds on Google's past investments of $2 billion in Anthropic and 10% ownership stake in the startup as well as a large cloud contract between the two companies. I mean a billion here a billion there pretty soon you're talking about real money! It makes you wonder what kind of artifacts they expect to unearth with all that investment. 'We work closely with ambitious startups across all stages to quickly enable groundbreaking 0 to 1 products and features providing early access to Google's advanced AI models expertise and potential funding to bring audacious AI ideas to life,' the fund's mission reads.

Gemini Models? More Like Gemini Problems!

This fund will support founders with Gemini models according to the application page. Now I don't know about you but the word 'Gemini' always makes me think of twins – and twins usually mean double the trouble. Let's hope these AI models are more helpful than harmful. Last thing we need is another Skynet situation on our hands. I'm not saying AI is evil but remember we do not follow maps to buried treasure and X never ever marks the spot.

So Should You Grab Your Whip and Join the AI Gold Rush?

The question remains should these plucky startups jump headfirst into Google's AI adventure? Only they can say but I'd advise caution. Fortune and glory are tempting but sometimes the real treasure is the knowledge you gain along the way...and maybe a few million in Google stock. After all it's not the years honey it's the mileage. Now if you'll excuse me I hear there's a lost city filled with self aware robots somewhere in the Amazon...