Fortune and Oil! Crude Prices Surge as Tensions Flare in the Middle East

They're Digging in the Wrong Place!

Right let's get this straight. It seems our friends in the Middle East are playing a high stakes game of 'who can cause the most market mayhem?' Oil prices have jumped nearly 3% after Netanyahu decided to stir the pot ordering attacks on Iran. Now I've seen my fair share of tomb raiding and booby traps but this… this is economic dynamite! As I always say "It's not the years honey it's the mileage." and this situation is racking up mileage fast!

Crude Awakening!

Brent Crude that slippery snake slithered up to $78.85 a barrel – the highest it's been since January. Meanwhile U.S. crude got a little greedy peaking at $77.58 before settling down a bit. All this because someone decided to play cowboys and Iranians. I swear sometimes I feel like I'm back in Cairo trying to outrun Belloq and those blasted Nazis! "Bad dates," indeed!

This Belongs in a Museum…Or Maybe a Bomb Shelter!

Defense Minister Katz is apparently channeling his inner Toht threatening Ayatollah Khamenei. Word is the military is under orders to ensure this chap 'should not continue to exist.' Charming! And to think I thought my days of dodging bullets and double crossing were over. Turns out the world’s just one giant temple of doom.

Trump Card or Trumped Up Charges?

Ah yes President Trump's weighing whether to drop a U.S. strike on Iran’s nuclear program. 'I may do it I may not do it,' he quips. Cryptic as a hieroglyphic that one. The White House is giving him two weeks to decide which in geopolitical time is about as long as it takes to get chased by a horde of Hovitos. Maybe he should consult the Ark of the Covenant. Worked wonders for those other fellas didn't it?

The Perils of Production

JPMorgan's warning that regime change in Iran could send oil prices soaring. Apparently losing a major oil producer is bad for business. Who knew? Kaneva their commodities guru says history shows that destabilizing Iran could lead to sustained elevated prices. Well color me surprised! It's like saying disturbing an ancient burial ground might unleash a few curses. You don't say?

X Marks the…Panic Button?

So what's the takeaway? Buckle up folks. We might be in for a bumpy ride. This situation is about as predictable as a Nazi U boat captain's next move. If things escalate expect gas prices to climb faster than you can say 'Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?' Just remember "We are only offering you the truth. Take it or leave it."