Southwest Airlines: From Free Bags to 'He Who Must Not Be Named' Baggage Fees!

The Boy Who Lived... Through Free Baggage... Until Now!

Right gather 'round you lot! Harry Potter here reporting live from... well not quite Hogwarts but a world almost as magical (and occasionally dreadful): the world of airline travel. Seems Southwest Airlines the plucky underdog of the skies has decided to join the dark side. Yes you heard me right. After over half a century of letting us fly with two free checked bags they're now charging a fee. I haven't felt this betrayed since Snape 'killed' Dumbledore! Starting Wednesday it's $35 for the first bag and $45 for the second. Honestly you'd think Voldemort himself was running their finance department.

7.3 Billion Galleons... I Mean Dollars!

Apparently the Ministry of... er I mean U.S. airlines raked in a whopping $7.3 billion last year from baggage fees alone. Seems like a tempting piece of pumpkin pie for Southwest. They were under pressure you see. Like Neville Longbottom facing down Bellatrix they just couldn't hold out any longer. Word on the street (or you know the airline terminal) is that some activist investor named Elliott who sounds like he belongs in Slytherin pushed for these changes. Five board seats they got! Next thing you know they'll be suggesting house elves work the ticket counters.

The Exceptions: Those Who Know 'Alohomora' to Free Bags

Fear not dear readers! There's always a loophole isn't there? Like sneaking past Filch with the Invisibility Cloak. If you're a top tier member of their Rapid Rewards loyalty program (the wizarding equivalent of being a Prefect I suppose) you still get two free bags. And those fancy Business Select types? They're golden too. Plus if you've got a Southwest credit card and book your travel companions with it your first bag is safe! It's like having a Portkey straight to baggage claim... without the fee.

Basic Economy: The Dementor's Kiss of Airline Travel

Now brace yourselves for this one. Southwest is introducing 'Basic Economy' tickets. Sounds innocent enough right? Wrong! It's like being sorted into Slytherin without your consent. You can't change your tickets you board last (prepare for a mad dash to the overhead bins!) and your fare credits expire faster than a Chocolate Frog in a dragon's mouth. And say goodbye to the 'Wanna Get Away' fare. It's gone. Vanished like a poorly cast Disappearing Spell.

Assigned Seating? Is This the End of the World?

Hold onto your hats folks. This one's a doozy. Southwest is actually considering assigned seating! Yes you heard correctly. The days of obsessively checking in 24 hours before your flight in a desperate attempt to snag a window seat might be over. They're even adding extra legroom seats which probably cost more than a Firebolt. It's like they're morphing into... dare I say it... *other* airlines. The horror!

Can They Handle the Overflow? 'Accio' Overhead Bin Space!

The bigwigs at Southwest reckon everyone's just going to cram more stuff into carry ons. They're installing bigger overhead bins which is good but I foresee a lot of frustrated travelers battling it out for space like it's the Triwizard Tournament. They're also promising mobile bag tag printers which sounds helpful but I'm betting there will be more than a few dropped wands (and bags) along the way. Are people mad? Of course they are! Southwest can't post a picture of a puppy without getting a barrage of angry comments. But the CEO Bob Jordan seems unfazed. He claims no one's canceling their flights. Maybe he's using a Confundus Charm on the customers. Only time will tell if Southwest can pull off this balancing act without losing its wand... er I mean its loyal customers.