Ministry of Mayhem? Trump Administration Accuses Jersey Lawmakers of ICE-Cold Assault!

Another Fine Mess at the Ministry...er I Mean ICE Facility

Right gather 'round you lot! Seems like things are getting a bit dicey across the pond. Instead of battling Voldemort and his Death Eaters these Muggles are scrapping over… immigration? Honestly you'd think they'd have learned something about unity after all these years. Apparently the Trump administration (remember them? Feels like ages since they were stirring up trouble like Peeves in the Hogwarts corridors) is accusing some Democratic lawmakers in New Jersey of getting a bit too 'hands on' with ICE enforcement officers at the Delaney Hall Immigration and Customs Enforcement facility. Sounds like a right Kneazle fight!

Body Slams and Body Cams? Oh Merlin's Beard!

According to a spokesperson named Tricia McLaughlin (sounds like a particularly stern house elf doesn't she?) these lawmakers weren't just arguing – oh no! They were allegedly assaulting ICE officers including – get this – *body slamming* a female officer! Body slamming! I mean even Dudley Dursley wouldn't go that far... usually. They've even got 'body camera footage.' Honestly Muggles and their gadgets. Next thing you know they'll be using the Pensieve to solve crimes! I wonder if Dumbledore would approve.

Lies Damned Lies and Political Stunts

Of course the accused lawmakers (Reps. Bonnie Watson Coleman Rob Menendez and LaMonica McIver) are having none of it. Menendez is accusing the Trump administration of spreading "lies and misinformation." "This is like nothing I've ever seen before and I am shocked and disturbed that something like this happened in our community," he added. Sounds like something Hermione would say after witnessing Umbridge's latest decree. It seems like the lawmakers believe they have a right to oversee these facilities which sparked the whole confrontation.

Trespassing? Sounds Like a Job for Alohomora!

Adding to the chaos Newark Mayor Ras Baraka who's apparently got his eye on the governor's mansion got arrested for trespassing. Trespassing! It's like he forgot the password to the Fat Lady's portrait. He was released without bond but the interim New Jersey U.S. Attorney Alina Habba (another name that sounds like it belongs in the Ministry) accused him of ignoring warnings and generally being a nuisance. She said he committed "trespass and [ignoring] multiple warnings" from DHS officials "to remove himself from the ICE detention center." Clearly some people never learn.

Evolving Situation? Sounds Like a Protean Charm Gone Wrong!

McLaughlin the aforementioned stern house elf esque spokesperson keeps saying it's an "evolving situation." Evolving situation? Sounds like a Protean Charm gone horribly wrong! One minute it's a teapot the next it's a badger. Who knows what will happen next? More arrests? Political posturing? A sudden outbreak of Exploding Snap? At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort himself showed up offering solutions. Anything can happen these days... especially if Dolores Umbridge has anything to say about it!

My Two Sickles

Honestly this whole thing sounds like a bad potion gone wrong. A little bit of Veritaserum might clear things up but I doubt anyone would volunteer for that. It just goes to show even without Dark Lords and dementors Muggles manage to create enough drama to fill the Daily Prophet for weeks. Makes me almost miss Quidditch practice.