Great Scott! Muggles Get a Discount on Weight Loss Potions (Er, Drugs!)

The Costly Conundrum: A Gringotts Sized Problem

Right so I stumbled upon this Muggle news article – honestly sometimes I think they're battling dragons without even knowing it. Apparently only half of Cigna's clients cover these 'GLP 1 weight loss drugs' called Wegovy and Zepbound. Why? Because they cost more Galleons than a Firebolt broomstick! Honestly you'd think they were brewing Felix Felicis with unicorn tears. It reminds me of trying to buy Honeydukes sweets with Dudley's pocket money – utterly impossible.

Evernorth to the Rescue? More Like Dumbledore's Army for Affordability!

But here's where it gets interesting. Evernorth which I gather is some sort of Muggle magical entity (aka Cigna’s pharmacy benefits unit) has struck a deal with the potion makers... I mean drug makers Ely Lilly and Novo Nordisk. Apparently this deal will bring prices down! Harold Carter who sounds like he should be battling werewolves says this deal is aimed at clients who aren't currently covering these drugs. They're capping costs at $200 a month! That’s still a pile of Knuts but better than paying the full Gringotts price!

Pre Authorization? Sounds Like a Ministry of Magic Bureaucracy Nightmare

The article mentions a “simplified pre authorization process.” Honestly that sounds about as simple as navigating the Ministry of Magic during rush hour. But hey at least patients will be able to get these drugs at the same price whether they go to a regular pharmacy or use Evernorth’s home delivery service. Which let’s be honest sounds almost as convenient as Floo powder.

20% Cost Reduction? Is That Better Than an Extendable Ear?

Apparently clients who *already* cover these drugs could see a 20% reduction in costs. That's almost as good as winning a Quidditch match! Carter even claims Evernorth managed to get better pricing while maintaining coverage for both drugs. Sounds like someone's been brewing a clever negotiating potion.

CVS Caremark Chooses Sides: A Real Life Triwizard Tournament?

Of course there's always drama. CVS Caremark another mysterious Muggle entity has decided to make Novo's Wegovy its primary weight loss drug. Which means Lilly's Zepbound is getting the cold shoulder. It's like the Triwizard Tournament all over again but with drugs instead of dragons! Eli Lilly is apparently going to “continue to work with those in health care government and the industry to find creative solutions.” Translation: they're not giving up without a fight. Good on them. Never tickle a sleeping dragon eh?

Medicare to the Rescue? Maybe in 2027... Blimey!

The article goes on to mention something about Medicare discounts under the Inflation Reduction Act. Sounds like a spell Ron would accidentally botch. These discounts won't take effect until 2027 which in wizarding terms is practically next Tuesday. But it could mean even lower prices down the line. Maybe these Muggles are learning a thing or two about magic after all. All I know is if they could just figure out how to levitate treacle tarts the world would be a much happier place.