Zuckerberg Almost Pulled a Disappearing Act With Instagram! Did He Chicken Out?

Wake Me When You Need Me...To Comment on Tech Drama

Alright Spartans listen up. The situation with Meta and Instagram? It’s heating up faster than a Plasma Grenade stuck to a Grunt. Apparently Zuckerberg was sweating bullets back in 2018 thinking the feds were gonna break up his little empire. He even considered ditching Instagram. I've faced down the Covenant the Flood and now... antitrust litigation. Humanity always finding new ways to make things complicated.

Instagram: More Valuable Than a Warthog?

Zuckerberg wrote in an email according to court documents that spinning out Instagram might be the only way to achieve important goals. Important goals? Sounds like someone was planning an escape route faster than a Banshee on full throttle. He thought there was a good chance Meta would be forced to spin out Instagram and maybe even WhatsApp. I've made some tough calls in my time but this one sounds like Zuckerberg was playing 4D chess… or maybe just avoiding a Checkmate from the FTC.

Flashback: Facebook's Shopping Spree

Facebook snagged Instagram for a cool billion back in 2012 when Instagram had just 13 employees. Thirteen! I’ve fought battles with more Elites than that. Then they bought WhatsApp for $19 billion in 2014. Now the FTC is saying Meta monopolized the social networking market. Reminds me of the Covenant trying to control the Halo rings – someone always wants more power.

FTC: "We're Going to Need a Bigger Hammer"

The FTC wants to cleave Instagram and WhatsApp from Meta. Sounds like they want to dismantle a Scarab piece by piece. Meta is fighting back saying the FTC doesn't understand the market and is ignoring competitors like TikTok and Apple’s iMessage. It's like saying a Plasma Pistol is the same as a Spartan Laser – they’re both weapons but one’s clearly more effective.

Snapchat: The One That Got Away

Zuckerberg also revealed he offered Snap CEO Evan Spiegel $6 billion for Snapchat back in 2013 but Spiegel turned him down. Ouch. That's gotta sting more than a Needler barrage. He estimated that if Instagram had remained independent it would be about the size of Twitter or Snapchat instead of being close to 1 billion active users. So close yet so far. Sometimes you just can't stick the landing.

Is This the End of the Line?

The antitrust trial is going to last weeks and it could change the whole social media landscape. Will Meta survive this? Will Instagram and WhatsApp be freed? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: this is one battle even I'm glad I'm not fighting. I'll stick to battling aliens thank you very much. Now if you'll excuse me I've got a Covenant cruiser to blow up. Cortana remind me to update my social media later. Or maybe not.