Trump Saves the Day! Is This the Rally We've Been Waiting For?!

Wake Me When You Need Me… To Buy Stocks

Alright Spartans listen up. Seems our Commander in Chief in the world of finance President Trump pulled a classic 'I'm changing my mind' move on those pesky tariffs. Citigroup those guys who always seem to know something we don't just upgraded U.S. stocks. Said they were more oversold than my Warthog after a Covenant ambush. Guess we're clear for take off...into the green?

Nasdaq: Tactical Acquisition Imminent

Pickett some high roller at Citigroup thinks the Nasdaq is ripe for the plucking. 'Tactical buy,' he says. Translation: get in there and grab some before the Elites start hoarding it all. That index jumped more than 12% on Wednesday which is apparently its biggest jump since before some of you recruits were born. I swear these market swings are more unpredictable than a Grunt with a plasma grenade.

Recession Forecast: Negative Negative!

Remember when Goldman Sachs was all doom and gloom about a recession? Turns out they panicked faster than a Marine facing a Hunter. They retracted their forecast quicker than I can reload a Battle Rifle. Looks like the economy might have dodged a bullet or at least a plasma bolt. But don't get cocky Spartans. This fight's far from over.

Wall Street's About Face: From Grim to… Slightly Less Grim

Seems like everyone on Wall Street was busy slashing forecasts like they were wielding Energy Swords. Then Trump does a 180 on trade and suddenly the sun's peeking through the clouds. Talk about a rollercoaster. One minute it's 'Abandon ship!' the next it's 'Full speed ahead!' Makes you wonder if these guys have ever seen a real battlefield.

Citigroup's Bold Prediction: A 23% Rally!

Citigroup's equity strategist Scott Chronert is sticking to his guns. He's predicting the S & P 500 will hit 6,500. That's like saying you're going to clear a room full of Brutes with a Plasma Pistol. Ambitious but not impossible. If he's right we're looking at a 23% rally. Time to dust off that savings account people.

CNBC Pro LIVE: Gear Up for Battle… of the Markets!

CNBC's hosting some shindig at the New York Stock Exchange something called CNBC Pro LIVE. Experts giving out 'expert insights.' Sounds like a briefing before a major offensive. If you're a CNBC Pro subscriber might be worth checking out. Could be the intel you need to survive another day on the market battlefield. Just remember Spartans: know your enemy and keep your finger on the trigger...or the 'buy' button in this case.