Tesla's Robotaxi Debuts: More Like 'Needler' Than 'Warthog'?

Chief's Log: Initial Scans

Alright team Master Chief here. Just got word that Tesla finally rolled out their Model Y robotaxis in Austin. Apparently it's like giving a Grunt a plasma pistol – potentially chaotic. Musk is boasting about a decade of hard work and those Tesla fanboys on X are singing praises louder than a Banshee's wail. Flat fee is $4.20? What is this some kind of covenant ritual? I prefer my rides in a Warthog.

The Elite's Ride: VIP Only

Only a select few got to hop in these self driving coffins – I mean cars. Longtime Tesla fans promoters shareholders... sounds like a Covenant council meeting. These folks are probably too busy Tweeting and YouTubing to notice if they're being driven off a cliff. One user claimed 'zero issues' after 11 rides. Sure and I never had to fight a Flood infection. Pull the other one.

Traffic Troubles: 'Brake Check'!

Now for the fun part. Seems these robotaxis are having a little trouble differentiating between 'road' and 'off road.' Reports are surfacing of traffic violations. One even went the wrong way down a street! I've seen less confused Grunts on Installation 04. And then there's the hard braking for stationary police vehicles. Maybe they thought the cops were Brutes? Someone needs to recalibrate their targeting system.

Catching Up: Racing Against the Clock

Musk's been promising this robotaxi fleet for ages and now he's playing catch up. Waymo's doing millions of trips and even China's getting in on the action. Musk wants hundreds of thousands maybe a million of these things on the road by next year. Reminds me of the time the Covenant tried to glass Reach. Ambitious but messy.

Pushback: Democratic Firefight

Unsurprisingly there's some resistance. Democratic lawmakers in Texas and public safety advocates are urging delays. They're worried about the 'FSD Unsupervised' system. You know because 'unsupervised' and 'driving' don't exactly scream 'safe.' Someone needs to tell them: 'I need a weapon,' in this case a responsible regulatory framework.

Final Word: Proceed with Caution

Tesla's got these fancy 'Autopilot' and 'FSD Supervised' systems already linked to accidents. So we're basically beta testing new tech on public roads. My recommendation? Keep your Warthog ready. And maybe just maybe let's not hand the keys to the future over to something that can't even handle a stationary police car without panicking. Chief out.