New Postmaster General: Can He Deliver...The Package?

Another Mission Another Suit...

Alright folks the UNSC is on hold (again). Seems like there's a new threat to national security... or well to delivering your grandma's fruitcake on time. They've tapped a new Postmaster General guy named David Steiner. Apparently he used to wrangle garbage and sit on the board of FedEx. So basically he's gone from dealing with trash to... well potentially dealing with more trash just in a different kind of bureaucratic bin. Frankly I don't understand why the Postal Service is struggling but Cortana tells me that she would know how to run that place efficiently. She also says she is 'just saying'. Whatever.

From Trash Talk to Mail Delivery: Is He Worthy?

This Steiner guy they say he turned Waste Management around. Transformed operations culture strong financial results... sounds like something the UNSC would say about me except instead of 'financial results,' it's usually 'saved humanity… again'. But hey the USPS lost 9.5 billion this year so maybe a guy who knows how to make money from garbage is exactly what they need. It may be just what the Postmaster General needs.

Leaving the Enemy?

Now here's where it gets interesting. Steiner's leaving a spot on the FedEx board to take this gig. Talk about switching sides! It's like joining the Covenant after spending years fighting alongside the UNSC. I'm not sure what to think but if this works then I guess the package will be delivered...or something.

The Weight of the Mail: Steiner's Burden

Look I've carried the weight of the galaxy on my shoulders. Steiner's just got the weight of a few billion letters and packages. But still this guy's stepping into a mess. Apparently the USPS has lost over 108 billion since 2007 even with 'billions in taxpayer relief.' Sounds like they need more than just a new leader; they need a miracle. Or maybe just a Spartan.

A Historic Task: Delivering Hope… and Bills

Steiner says he's honored to lead 'the world's greatest postal organization.' Well good for him. But let's be real the USPS is more historic than 'great' these days. It's got a legacy stretching back before the Founding Fathers were even a thing. But if he does good this will be one hell of a legacy. He just needs to remember: delivering hope is more important than delivering bills.

Can He Stick the Landing? (Or at Least the Stamp?)

So here we are. New Postmaster General massive challenges. Frederick Smith from FedEx thinks Steiner's 'sharp business acumen' will be key. I hope he's right. Because if the USPS goes down who's gonna deliver my requisition forms for more ammo? The fate of the mail and maybe my next plasma grenade rests on this guy's shoulders. No pressure.