Lilly's Profit Forecast Takes a Dive, But Weight-Loss Drugs Save the Day (Again!)

Another Day Another Covenant… I Mean Earnings Report

Alright Spartans listen up. We've got another situation unfolding this time it's not the Covenant but something almost as scary: pharmaceutical earnings. Eli Lilly just dropped their Q1 report and it's a mixed bag. They beat expectations on revenue and earnings but lowered their full year profit guidance. Sounds like someone's been playing too much Grunt Birthday Party mode with their budget.

Mounjaro and Zepbound: The Dynamic Duo

Turns out these weight loss and diabetes drugs are doing some heavy lifting. Mounjaro brought in $3.84 billion a 113% jump from last year. Zepbound isn't slacking either raking in $2.31 billion. That's more than quadruple what it made last year. Seems like people are lining up for these drugs like they're trying to get the last Warthog on Installation 04. Now if only they could find a cure for being a bad teammate in Halo multiplayer!

Deal Gone Wrong

So what's with the profit dip? Apparently Eli Lilly made a deal for a cancer treatment that cost them $1.57 billion. That's a lot of credits even for a Spartan. They're still sticking to their $58 billion to $61 billion sales guidance but like trying to snipe a Jackal with a Plasma Pistol it's going to be tough.

Trump's Tariff Threat: 'Wake Me When You Need Me.'

Ah politics. Trump's tariffs are looming like a Flood infection form. Eli Lilly's CEO Dave Ricks says the threat of tariffs is already bringing manufacturing back to the U.S. He said "I think that actually the threat of tariffs is already bringing back critical supply chains into important industries chips and pharma," Ricks said. "So do we need to enact [tariffs?] I'm not so sure." So maybe we can avoid a full blown tariff war? I've seen enough battles for one lifetime (and then some).

Tax Cuts: The Real Weapon of Mass Production

Ricks wants lower taxes especially 15% for domestic production. He says low taxes drove drugmakers to places like Ireland and Singapore. Bring those jobs back home Chief! We need to keep the economy strong so we can afford all the new Battle Rifles when they come out! He said lower taxes drove many drugmakers to manufacture in "low tax islands like Ireland Singapore and in Switzerland and that can come back if there's an economic incentive."

Shortages Over Supply Lines Secured... For Now

Good news Spartans! The FDA says the shortage of tirzepatide is over. That means no more shady compounding pharmacies selling knock off drugs. Now if only we could get rid of all those cheap Plasma Rifles floating around... "I need a weapon!"