G-7 Summit: Earth Needs a Weapon, Not a Trade Deal!

Another Day Another Crisis

Alright Spartans looks like Earth's in a bit of a pickle. Again. The bigwigs are gathering in the Canadian Rockies for the G 7 summit but instead of talking about things that actually matter – like I don't know Covenant invasions – they're bickering about trade and trying to stop the Middle East from turning into a bigger plasma storm than it already is. Feels like I’m back on Installation 04 except this time instead of Flood it's just floods of political nonsense. Someone get me a Warthog and a good sniper rifle; this could get messy.

Starmer's Dance with the Devil

So British Prime Minister Keir Starmer is playing diplomat trying to calm things down with Trump and Netanyahu. Says he wants to de escalate the situation and recognizes Israel's right to self defense. All well and good but I’ve seen enough double crosses to fill a Covenant cruiser. He's sending Royal Air Force jets to the Middle East which is nice but I'm pretty sure a few Banshees could take them out no problem. Let's just hope he knows what he's doing. Remember Reach. We need to be prepared.

Trump: The Summit's Wild Card As Always

Ah Trump. Always a charmer. Apparently Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney has given up on a joint statement because everyone's too busy trying to talk Trump out of starting a trade war. He's threatening to make Canada the 51st state and take over Greenland. Greenland seriously? I’ve fought aliens on rings bigger than that. This guy makes the Grunts look coordinated. Macron's making a pit stop in Greenland to meet with the Arctic leaders probably just to make a point. It's like watching two Elites argue over who gets the last plasma pistol.

From Bromance to Trade Wars

Macron tried to be Trump's buddy but even that failed. France is now caught in Trump's tariff crossfire and all those promises of U.S. security guarantees for Ukraine? Gone faster than a Hunter dodging a grenade. It's a classic case of “Hope is not a strategy,” something I learned the hard way. Maybe someone should remind these guys that sticking together is how we beat the Covenant not each other.

Bully in the Oval Office

Apparently Trump likes one on one meetings because according to former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien “he tends to be a bully.” Sounds like someone I’d enjoy going up against in the pit. Chrétien says to just ignore him and stay calm but I’m pretty sure a well placed plasma grenade would send a clearer message. Starmer tried to woo Trump with an invitation for King Charles because apparently diplomacy is all about royal visits now. Maybe they should just challenge him to a game of Grifball.

Ukraine and the Ghost of Summits Past

Zelenskyy is showing up which should be interesting. Their last meeting was apparently a disaster which I can relate to. Some encounters are just bad news bears. The war in Ukraine is on the agenda but I doubt anyone will come up with a real solution. It's like trying to explain gravity to a Grunt – pointless. Maybe it’s time to pull out the big guns literally. We need more than just talk. We need action. And maybe a new weapon or two wouldn’t hurt.