Commanders Return to RFK: Is This Earth's Defense Against the Covenant?

Halo Commander's Back!

Alright Spartans listen up. Word from the higher ups – and by 'higher ups' I mean some folks in suits who probably haven't seen a day of combat – is that the Washington Commanders are heading back to D.C. Apparently their current base of operations in Landover wasn't cutting it. I don't know maybe the Covenant EMP'd their Wi Fi or something. Anyway they're investing a cool $2.7 billion into the old RFK Stadium site. Last time I saw that much cash it was Cortana trying to explain the UNSC budget to me. Didn't make any more sense then either.

From Flagship to Football Field

So this RFK Stadium is where they used to play back in the day before I was even defrosted. Think of it as their version of the Pillar of Autumn but instead of saving humanity they were... scoring touchdowns? Look I'm a soldier not a sports analyst. But the team's managing partner Josh Harris seems pretty stoked. Says they're gonna 'honor the legacy' by building a 'world class stadium.' Hope it comes with better shields than the last stadium or at least a decent EMP resistance. The city's throwing in $500 million which I guess is their way of saying 'Finish the fight... for better tailgating!'

Building a Better Battlefield... I Mean Stadium

The plan is to open this new fortress in 2030. It's not just a stadium though. We're talking housing restaurants parkland the whole shebang. Sounds like someone's been playing too much Halo Wars. The city and Events DC (whoever they are probably some branch of ONI) are throwing in more cash for parking transportation and utilities. Total cost? $3.7 billion. All this for a game. Meanwhile we're fighting aliens with duct tape and hope. Priorities people!

65,000 Seats and a Roof? Luxury!

The new stadium will have a roof and hold about 65,000 fans. A ROOF! Spartans don't need roofs. We thrive in the vacuum of space! But hey I guess it'll keep the rain off their beer. And 65,000 seats? That's a lot of potential meat shields... I mean dedicated fans. The Commanders are also promising 2,000 permanent jobs and billions in tax revenue. Sounds like a good deal unless the Covenant decides to invade during halftime. Then we'll see how much that roof really helps.

Mayor Bowser's Big Play

Washington Mayor Muriel Bowser is pretty hyped about this. Says they can have the Commanders housing park space and more. Sounds like a politician's dream. I'm more concerned about plasma grenades and Flood spores but hey at least someone's happy. Bowser said "We are thrilled to welcome the Commanders back home to the Sports Capital. We said that we could do it all – Commanders housing park space recreation retail entertainment and more – and together that's what we are delivering," I hope she has thought about the Covenant invasion... just in case.

Is $6.25 Billion Enough to Buy a Warthog?

Apparently the Commanders are worth $6.25 billion. That's enough to buy... well I don't know what you can buy with that much money. Probably a small planet. Or maybe just a really really nice Warthog. Anyway I'm just here to protect humanity not analyze sports teams. But if they ever need a Spartan to run interference I'm available. Just pay me in ammo and maybe a new energy sword.