Chipotle Invades Mexico! Can Burritos Survive the Border Run?

New Mission: Tacos South of the Border

Alright Spartans lock and load. We've got a new objective. Chipotle is heading to Mexico. I repeat Chipotle is heading to Mexico! Sounds like a recon mission gone wild but someone's gotta do it. Apparently the brass thinks burritos can survive in the land of tacos. 'I need a weapon' and maybe a good map because this could get messy. First stop Mexico City I'm gonna need to find a good churro stand first this is a historic moment!

Alliance with Alsea: Friend or Foe?

Intel suggests Chipotle is teaming up with Alsea a conglomerate that's been running Starbucks and Burger King down there. Could be an uneasy alliance. Remember what happened with the Arbiter? Hopefully this partnership won't end with 'wort wort wort' moments. But hey if they can handle a Frappuccino frenzy maybe they can handle a burrito blast. Just gotta make sure they know who's in charge – and that I get my extra guacamole.

Trade Wars and Burrito Diplomacy

Now there's chatter about some 'trade war' nonsense. Apparently the President's been messing with avocado tariffs. Avocados are the key to my strength; I need those to stay in peak condition and save the world. No guac no glory people! If this gets ugly I might have to intervene myself. Diplomatic solutions only people no plasma grenades allowed... unless they run out of chips.

Remember Taco Bell? Never Forget!

Word is some outfit called 'Taco Bell' tried this twice before and face planted. Twice! Makes you wonder if they were using Grunts for market research. 'Dear diary today I got to eat a taco. It was good'. I mean come on who fails at Mexican food... *in* Mexico? Chipotle says they’re different. Let's hope they've got a better strategy than just yelling 'Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!' and hoping for the best.

Global Domination: One Burrito at a Time

Chipotle's been busy expanding to Canada the UK and even the Middle East. Next thing you know they'll be setting up shop on Installation 04. 'When you first saw Halo were you blinded by its majesty?' Well soon they'll be asking that about a perfectly rolled burrito. Global domination one guac bowl at a time. If they open one on the Ark I'm officially calling dibs.

The Fresh Food Gamble: Will it Pay Off?

Apparently Chipotle is betting that Mexicans will love their 'fresh' ingredients. Well duh. You think they've been surviving on stale tortillas and week old salsa? 'Wake me when you need me.' But let's be honest fresh is good but taste is king. Gotta make sure that cilantro is on point and the spice is right or this mission is going sideways fast. Time to assemble the troops the Chipotlanian troops that is.