Fly, You Fools! Southwest Airlines Sacrifices Free Bags to the Baggage Fee Balrog!

A Shadow Falls on Southwest: The Age of Free Bags Ends

Hark travelers of Middle earth and beyond! Gandalf the Grey brings tidings – and not of the joyful kind. A darkness stirs in the hearts of airlines and even the once generous Southwest has succumbed. The age of 'two bags fly free,' a policy as old and revered as the Shire itself is drawing to a close. Starting this very Wednesday many fares will no longer include the blessed perk of complimentary baggage. It seems the allure of gold or rather the $7.3 billion brought in by baggage fees last year has proven too tempting even for those who swore an oath to resist.

One Does Not Simply Fly Free Anymore!

The winds of change like the winds of the Misty Mountains are unpredictable and often unwelcome. Southwest under pressure from forces akin to those of Mordor (namely activist investors) has announced that bags will now come at a price. While they haven't revealed the exact toll whispers in the marketplace suggest it will be in the realm of $35 or $40 per bag a burden not unlike carrying the Ring to Mount Doom. This coupled with the introduction of 'Basic' fares – a concept as appealing as lembas bread gone stale – signals a shift in the very fabric of air travel.

The Exemptions: A Glimmer of Hope in the Darkness

Fear not dear travelers! Not all is lost. Like the Elves of Rivendell some are granted special favour. Those with the highest status in the Rapid Rewards loyalty program the esteemed Business Select patrons and those wielding the power of a Southwest Airlines co branded credit card shall still be permitted to check their bags without penalty. A List members akin to seasoned adventurers will also enjoy the privilege of a free first bag. So there is still good in this world... though perhaps one must pay extra for it.

Basic is the New Black (and Apparently Less Comfortable)

Prepare yourselves for the arrival of 'Basic' fares a concept as dreary as the Dead Marshes. These fares it seems offer little more than a seat on the plane and the lingering scent of despair. Changes are forbidden boarding is delayed until the very last moment and your fare credits vanish faster than a Hobbit at an Elven feast. And say farewell to the 'Wanna Get Away' fare; it is gone lost to the mists of time replaced by this new…creation.

Farewell Open Seating: An Orcish Horde for Overhead Bins!

Alas the days of frantically checking in to secure a prime boarding spot are numbered. Southwest plans to introduce assigned seating a concept as foreign to them as the idea of Hobbits riding dragons. They will also equip their planes with extra legroom seats. The airline expects more carry ons. Larger overhead bins are being installed in the Boeing fleet. Mobile bag tag printers are being distributed at gates and airport lobbies to assist customers. May your carry ons be light and your fellow passengers understanding. This is not the Mines of Moria; there is no need to fight for space!

The Wrath of the Public: 'You Shall Not...Charge!'

The winds of discontent blow fiercely across the land. Southwest's social media channels are now battlegrounds filled with the cries of disgruntled travelers. Even posts about babies and puppies are met with fiery complaints about the baggage policy. Yet CEO Bob Jordan claims that the announcement has not deterred customers. Perhaps they are simply in denial or perhaps they are all secretly Gandalf the White knowing that even in the darkest of times hope remains. But I digress. Perhaps like Sauron Southwest will find that nickel and diming customers for baggage fees does not necessarily lead to ultimate power (or profits) but rather to a long and arduous quest to regain their trust.