Newsmax in Hot Water! Did They Mess with the Election Like Bears Mess with Beets?!

False! False! False!

As Assistant Regional Manager (and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy) of Dunder Mifflin Scranton I Dwight K. Schrute have seen my fair share of lies. But Newsmax you’ve outdone yourselves! This Judge Davis a man of the law has declared that your claims about Dominion Voting Systems rigging the 2020 election are FALSE! False I tell you! Like Mose trying to convince me he's seen a bear riding a bicycle. Preposterous!

A Partial Victory But a Victory Nonetheless!

Dominion it seems is like a bear defending its cubs (or in this case its reputation). They've won a partial victory in their $1.6 billion lawsuit against Newsmax. But hold your horses! Or should I say hold your Schrute Farms beets? A jury still needs to decide if Newsmax is on the hook for damages. This trial scheduled for April 28th will be more intense than a beet eating contest at the volunteer firehouse!

Newsmax's Defense: A Load of Barnacles!

Newsmax claims they covered both sides fairly? That's like saying Michael Scott is a management genius! Hogwash! They call the case a threat to free speech? Well I call it accountability! As for their stock plummeting? Serves them right! It’s like their stock broker forgot to plant the seeds to watch their investments grow. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. (But mainly accountability.)

The Trump Connection: A Tangled Web!

Ah yes the former President Trump. He spent weeks claiming the election was stolen but where was the proof? Non existent! Like a scarecrow without straw! And Newsmax just ate it up like bears to honey. Speaking of Trump I think he would agree with me that the news outlet should be held accountable especially since he lost a very important election!

Defamation Defined: Don't Spread Lies People!

This judge this Eric Davis fellow clearly has a firmer understanding of the law and voting irregularities than Michael Scott has about general leadership. He said that the claims made by Newsmax are in fact false. Don't believe in these lies people don't be fooled by false stories like bears being able to drive tractors.

Beets and Justice: Both Best Served Fresh!

Newsmax's stock took a dive and they already had to pay Smartmatic $40 million! Plus Dominion got $787.5 million from Fox News! Clearly there's a price to pay for spreading misinformation like there's a price to pay for feeding beets to bears (don't do it!). The truth will prevail just like a good beet harvest! Justice is coming faster than Mose on a tractor. And believe me that's saying something.