False Alarm! Trump's Student Loan Transfer Plan Foiled by Judge: Education Department Prevails!

A Setback for Trump a Victory for Beet Farmers (and Borrowers)!

As Assistant Regional Manager (in training) I Dwight K. Schrute am here to report on a matter of grave national importance. It involves money bureaucracy and the fate of our precious young minds. It appears that the former President's audacious plan to relocate the nation's student loan portfolio – a sum larger than the annual revenue of Schrute Farms – has been thwarted. A judge whom I suspect is a beet hater has put a stop to it. It's like when Michael tried to sell paper to Hammermill – total chaos!

Department of Education: Not to be Trifled With

This whole ordeal started when Trump a man who probably thinks 'quabity assurance' is a real department announced his intention to shove over 40 million student loan accounts to the SBA. The SBA! As if they don't have enough on their plate dealing with well small businesses. He said they were 'all set' and 'waiting for it.' Classic Trump. Big talk no beet juice.

The Swamp Strikes Back!

Madi Biedermann a brave soul from the Education Department bravely called out the judge's decision as a 'far left' overreach. I for one applaud her commitment to efficiency. Though frankly the Education Department could use a Schrute style reorganization. Picture this: Loan repayment enforced by paintball guns loaded with beet juice! Delinquent borrowers get a face full of earthy consequences!

Borrowers Breathe a Collective Sigh of Relief!

According to some 'expert' named Sarah Sattelmeyer moving the loans would have caused 'confusion' and 'decreased the effectiveness of programs.' Of course any disruption to the natural order is bound to have consequences. Much like when Jim Halpert tries to prank me. In the end it always backfires (on him mostly)!

SBA: No Experience? No Problem! (Just Kidding)

Mark Kantrowitz another so called 'expert' points out the SBA has absolutely no experience managing student loans. He's right! It's like asking Pam Beesly to run a paper company. She might be good at decorating but she lacks the fundamental understanding of paper's tensile strength and fiber orientation. The Higher Education Act of 1965 clearly designates the Education Department. Law is law!

43% Reduction? False Economy!

Adding insult to injury the Trump administration planned to slash the SBA's workforce by 43%. So they wanted fewer people to manage *more* responsibility? That's like removing the bears from Bear Mountain and expecting more bears! Utter madness. This whole plan was as poorly thought out as Michael's 'golden ticket' idea. The Education Department is the best and will continue to be the best. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.