Bears, Beets, Booze: Why Constellation Brands is the Dwight Schrute of the Stock Market

False! Alcohol's Not Dead It's Just... Hibernating

As Assistant Regional Manager (and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy) I've seen many things rise and fall. Mostly the rise and fall of beet prices. But I digress. These so called 'experts' are declaring the death of alcohol. Preposterous! It's merely evolving. Like a caterpillar into a beautiful slightly inebriated butterfly. They claim younger generations are too health conscious. I say hogwash! They're just waiting for a beet infused vodka. Constellation Brands they're not just surviving they're thriving. Like a well fertilized beet crop in the right conditions. And the conditions my friends are right.

Modelo and Corona: The Bears of the Beer World

Constellation's beer portfolio including the powerhouses of Modelo and Corona is as strong as a bear. A bear that knows karate. These aren't your average beers mind you. These are *premium* beers. The kind that pair perfectly with a plate of beets. While other companies are floundering in the face of moderation trends Constellation is riding the wave like a majestic swan on Lake Scranton. And the +2% volume growth in premium beer? That's not just growth that's *Schrute* growth. Exponential and unstoppable. "Did I stutter?"

Cannabis Concerns? More Like Cannabis Calamities!

These so called 'alternatives' like cannabis are being touted as the next big thing? Bupkis! Turns out cannabis is about as healthy as Michael Scott's management style. Full of risks and questionable decision making. Studies show it leads to increased cardiovascular issues and mental health disorders. Frankly I wouldn't trust someone on cannabis to run a beet farm let alone a corporation. Constellation's stake in Canopy Growth? A small hedge. Smart. Like investing in iodine pills before a nuclear disaster. Their focus remains on what they do best: providing high quality beverages. It's a good thing. If they ever switched to selling cannabis full time Bears would eat beets.

Anti Obesity Drugs? Constellation's Ready with the High End Arsenal!

Oh these newfangled anti obesity medications are cutting down on alcohol consumption? Good! Let the weak and undisciplined fall by the wayside. Constellation is not aiming to provide drinks for those people. They are already ahead of the curve by focusing on premium segments! High end wines premium beer and RTD cocktails. The stuff of beet farming champions! While others panic Constellation embraces quality over quantity. Because quality like a perfectly grown beet is always in demand. Now I need to use my beet to make beet wine!

The Oracle of Omaha Sees the Beets (and the Booze)

Warren Buffett a man of impeccable taste and sound judgment (second only to myself of course) has a significant stake in Constellation Brands. This is no accident. Buffett recognizes value when he sees it. And Constellation is undervalued like a pristine Dwight Schrute bobblehead at a garage sale. Its price to sales ratio is lower than the industry average and its free cash flow yield is impressive. Buffett's investment is a clear signal: Constellation is poised to rise. And when Buffett speaks you listen. Unless you're Michael Scott in which case you do the opposite. "MICHAEL!!!"

Proceed with Cautious Optimism (and a Backup Plan of Beets)

Alright so sales may be declining as competitors' sales are declining. The world is a dangerous place. Economic uncertainty and inflation could put a damper on things. We get it. However Constellation is already making moves to address the issues. They sold off their lower tier brands to focus on the high end stuff. In the meantime I recommend selling cash covered puts for example the August $160 put to play it safe. And always always have a backup plan involving beets. Because when all else fails beets will sustain you. That's what I told Mose. And he started laughing hysterically and ran to his bedroom.