Wall Street Wobbles! Is the S&P 500 About to Donkey-Kick the Bucket?

Morning I Made You Some Waffles

Hey everybody! Donkey here your friendly neighborhood reporter straight from Far Far Away... well actually from right here lookin' at this news article! So apparently Wall Street's been doin' the cha cha. The S&P 500 which sounds like a fancy robot but is just a bunch of stocks almost lost its winning streak. It's like when I almost caught that dragon... almost! They say it's down a bit after a crazy day. Apparently Moody's did something not sure what it is I'm not a mood reader but stocks went up anyway! Someone needs to get me up to speed on the stock market. I thought stocks were for saddles!

GE Vernova: More Than Just a Funny Name

Now get this! There's this company called GE Vernova. Sounds like a sneeze right? Well they're makin' big moves. Apparently this President dude gave the green light for some wind power thing in New York. I thought he didn't like wind! Maybe he just likes the sound of it… like when I sing! Anyway GE Vernova is buildin' stuff for it. Plus they're workin' on some small nuclear reactor thingamajigs. Sounds dangerous! I’d rather stick to waffles but they say it’s gonna power the future. Future is now people!

Earnings After the Bell: Not Just Tummy Rumbles

Alright so after the bell rings not the school bell or the dinner bell but some other kind of bell some companies are talkin' about how much money they made! Palo Alto Networks Toll Brothers and Keysight Technologies oh my! And this Nikesh Arora guy from Palo Alto is gonna be on some show called "Mad Money." Mad money? I hope he doesn't throw it around like confetti! I could use some mad money to buy more waffles! Get outta here!

Retail Rumble: It's a Shopping Spree!

Hold your horses 'cause it's retail time! TJX Companies Target and Lowe's are comin' up. I bet they got some sweet deals on... I don't know... saddles? Home Depot tried to stand tall but then fell over. They said they won't raise prices 'cause of tariffs. Tariffs? Is that like… paying extra for tar? Sounds sticky! I’m on a roll people!

Jim Cramer's Club: Are We Talking About a Dance Club?

So there's this "CNBC Investing Club with Jim Cramer." Sounds fancy! Apparently if you join you get alerts before Jim makes a trade. He waits 45 minutes before buyin' or sellin' stuff. What's he doin' in those 45 minutes? Nappin'? I could use a good nap! And if he talks about a stock on TV he waits 72 hours. That's like… three whole days! Talk about a long wait! Why can't I do a TV show then?!

No Guarantees: Just Like My Promises!

Okay gotta say this part. This "Investing Club" thingy ain't guaranteeing nothin'. No promises of makin' tons of money! It's like when I promise to be quiet... it doesn't always happen. It’s all subject to their terms and conditions and all that jazz. So be careful out there folks! Now where's my swamp smoothie?