Student Loan Debt Blues Got You Down? Donkey's Got the Lowdown!

Ogre Sized Debt Problems?

Alright alright settle down settle down! Donkey's in the house! Or well on the news... which is kinda the same thing right? So I heard about this poor fella Jason Collier a teacher! Bless his heart he's gotta wait for payday just to fill up his gas tank! Money's tighter than Shrek's swamp after a rainstorm and now Uncle Sam wants a piece of his paycheck 'cause of those pesky student loans? Oh that's just donkey dorable... NOT! He's raising two little'uns and battling the big C! Aww poor fella! Now they wanna pinch his paycheck? Seriously? What is this some kinda fairytale gone wrong?

Trump's Loan Repayment is like Onion Breath!

So get this: After a nap that lasted longer than Shrek's grumbling (five years!) the Big Man I mean the Trump folks decided to start snatching tax refunds paychecks and even Social Security! Social Security! That's like taking candy from a baby dragon! They are now demanding repayment! I thought they learned from when they froze the loans? They never listen! According to the numbers there's a whooole lotta folks struggling – millions even! And the Education Department says it could double soon! Like yikes!

Biden to the Rescue! (Kinda)

Now the Biden bunch tried to be all nice and help folks out after that whole 'rona thing. They wanted to give folks a breather and get them back on track. But now it's back to 'Gimme your money!' It's like Shrek trying to be a gentleman – a good effort but sometimes you gotta just roar!

Secretary McMahon Speaks! (Or Yells?)

Education Secretary Linda McMahon hopped on the ol' X (formerly Twitter) and was all like 'Borrowers should pay back the debts they take on.' Well duh! But what if they can't?! It's like telling Pinocchio to just stop lying! Easier said than done right? Over 42 million Americans are drowning in student loan debt with the total exceeding $1.6 TRILLION! That's more than all the gingerbread men in Far Far Away!

Old Age Ain't No Shield From Debt!

And it ain't just young'uns struggling! There's Marceline Paul a sweet retiree who just wants to go home to Trinidad! But if they start snatching her Social Security that trip's gonna be further away than Dragon's castle. She's already pinching pennies and now she might have to skip house repairs and her dream vacation! That's just wrong man! These folks paid their dues! Now they want their money back?!

A Big Mess and Conflicting Info!

And the chaos continues! Kia Brown wants to pay her loans but she's getting the runaround! Conflicting info hours on hold and nobody seems to know what's going on! The system's messier than Shrek's swamp after a party! She feels like she's caught in a dragon's fiery breath of confusion! This is worse than that time I tried to make waffles! The narrative is that people are dodging payments but these people want to give you their money! What is the actual problem?! She can barely get by as it is. It is not easy being green!