Are Stocks Climbing Higher Than Dragon's Tower?! This Donkey Has the Scoop!

Wake Up and Smell the Stock Options!

Alright alright alright! Donkey here your favorite talking… uh…reporter! Lemme tell ya Wall Street's been wilder than a disco at Duloc! Apparently stocks had a good day climbin' higher than me tryin' to reach Shrek's stash of waffles. They say it bounced back from whatever happened on Monday! I don't know about all that but the article says it was looking good!

China Talkin' Stocks Walkin'?

So what got everyone's tail waggin'? Turns out there were whispers about the USA and China maybe just maybe patchin' things up. Talk about a fairytale ending right? Everyone got excited like when I see a fresh batch of parfaits! But hold your horses... or dragons... because it sounds like these talks are gonna be slower than Shrek gettin' ready in the mornin'. Someone told me it "will be a slog"? I don't know exactly what that means but it sounds slow. And like it smells!

Trade Deals: Easier Said Than Done key!

Now get this: Apparently dealin' with countries like Japan and India ain't gonna be a picnic either. Some big shot at Politico said it could take 'months!' Months! That's longer than it takes to braid Rapunzel's hair! Apparently if they cannot make any trade deals then some tariffs gonna come and whack people upside the head! That's what they should do to the guy who stole my waffles!

Pessimism? I Don't Even Know 'Er!

But don't you worry your little donkey head! Even though things are wobbly like my dance moves this Jim Cramer guy (whoever he is) seems to think things will work out in the long run. He says falling prices and sad sack attitudes make things better! I tell you what makes things better; Waffles! That's better than findin' out your with someone who is "always gonna be the sidekick!"

President Trump Said WHAT?!

Now the only thing you should be listening to is the President! I'm not saying he's smarter than me but I ain't heard a word he has said. So take everything with a grain of salt until he says something because I don't want to waste my time listening to someone who is "making it complicated!"

The After Hours Party: Company Earnings Baby!

Alright gather 'round 'cause this is where it gets interesting! After the bell rings some big shots like Capital One Tesla and even some weirdos like Enphase Energy are spillin' the beans about how much gold they've been hoard I mean earnin'! They are also releasing information before the bell on Wednesday from AT&T Boeing and others! It's more exciting than a donkey in a parade! And if you wanna know more about Jim Cramer's shenanigans you gotta subscribe! Just remember no one's promisin' you a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... unless you find a leprechaun then you might be in luck!