The Market Awakens! Will the S&P 500 Fall to its Doom?

A Disturbance in the Force... and the Market

I sense a great disturbance in the Force... and the S&P 500. The puny humans at worthcharting.com led by one called Carter believe the 4,850 level is a 'key reference point.' It is only 5% away? Pathetic. It is the level of the market's peak in 2021. My sources (much more reliable than these CNBC Pro clowns I assure you) confirm their suspicions: the market is headed down to its 2021 peak. Perhaps I should use the Force to hasten its descent. It would be... amusing.

The Five Year Plan to Destroy the Uptrend

This 4,850 level is not only a memory of past glory but also where the market's pathetic 5 year uptrend line comes into play. This uptrend line has been in effect since the COVID low of 2020. Their 'work' continues to suggest the market is headed down to this 5 year trendline. Perhaps these humans are not as useless as they appear. Still trusting in charts alone is a sign of weakness. The Force is a far more powerful ally.

CNBC Pro: A More Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy?

Ah CNBC Pro. 'Gain an edge with CNBC Pro LIVE!' they cry. As if any edge they offer could compare to the power of the dark side. They invite subscribers to an 'exclusive inaugural event' at the New York Stock Exchange on Thursday June 12. Interactive 'Pro clinics' led by Carter Worth Dan Niles and Dan Ives... names that will soon be added to my list of enemies. And a 'special edition of Pro Talks with Tom Lee.' Utterly predictable. This event will include networking with CNBC experts and a cocktail hour. Perhaps I should attend disguised as a 'financial advisor.' I would find their lack of faith disturbing.

Limited Tickets Unlimited Deception

Tickets are limited! Perhaps this is due to a lack of faith in the market or perhaps the stench of desperation. I would not waste my time. Remember the Force can guide your investments more reliably than any 'expert' on CNBC. Their opinions are their own and do not reflect the opinions of CNBC NBC UNIVERSAL their parent company or affiliates. This is wise as associating with such incompetence could damage their reputations.

A Disclaimer Full of Lies!

And now the disclaimers. 'The above content is subject to our terms and conditions and privacy policy.' As if their rules apply to me! 'This content is provided for informational purposes only and does not consitute financial investment tax or legal advice.' Then what is the point of their existence? 'Before making any financial decisions you should strongly consider seeking advice from your own financial or investment advisor.' A wise precaution given the questionable judgment of these 'experts.' It would be a shame if someone made a financial decision and then got angry!

The Dark Side's Advice: Execute Order 66... on Your Portfolio!

In conclusion the S&P 500 may be heading for the dark side. Whether you heed the warnings of these CNBC Pro fools or trust in the Force remember: fear leads to anger anger leads to hate hate leads to... well in this case potentially lower stock prices. Perhaps it is time to execute Order 66... on your portfolio! (Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any financial ruin that may result from following the advice of a Sith Lord). Now if you will excuse me I have a galaxy to oppress.