The Emperor's New Parade: A Display of Power...and Petty Threats!

A Disturbance in the Force...and the Protests

As Darth Vader enforcer of the Galactic Empire I find myself...intrigued by this "President Trump" and his plans for a military parade. He speaks of celebrating something called the "U.S. Army's 250th anniversary." These mortals and their fleeting celebrations. But what truly amuses me is his petty warning to any who dare protest this display of power. He threatens them with "very big force." It is…acceptable. Perhaps he could learn a thing or two from the Empire on how to truly deal with dissent. After all fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this parade however seems unlikely. More like an…annoyance.

The Senate's Rebellion: A Lack of Vision

The intel suggests these… "protests" are aimed squarely at the parade timed conveniently with this Trump's 79th rotation around their sun. Security officials estimate a pitiful number of dissidents. A mere shadow of the cheering masses he envisions. However the true challenge appears to come not from these feeble protestors but from within his own ranks. Senator Rand Paul a name that sounds vaguely familiar like a bounty hunter I once disintegrated dares to question the parade's message. He compares it to the… "Soviet Union and North Korea." A lack of faith disturbing! As if a grand display of military might is somehow…un American? The man lacks vision. Perhaps a visit to the Executor is in order.

Credits Credits You Will Not Believe How Many Credits

The true outrage seems to be the cost of this parade. An eye watering $45 million credits or as these Earthlings call them "dollars." Senator John Kennedy (no relation to that pesky Jedi I presume) claims he wouldn't "spend the money" on it if it were his choice. This is the problem with planetary senators they lack the understanding of galactic budgets. However in some ways they have a point. As someone who oversaw the construction of the Death Star (twice!) I understand the importance of fiscal responsibility. But sometimes a grand gesture is necessary to remind the galaxy of your power. Or in this case to stroke one man's ego. It's all relative really.

Deployments: A Show of (Questionable) Force

News reaches my sensors that this Trump has also deployed National Guard troops and Marines to Los Angeles to quell protests over immigration enforcement. A fool's errand! Deploying troops against civilian protests is like using a Super Star Destroyer to swat a gnat. It's excessive inefficient and ultimately ineffective. But it does make a statement. A statement that says "I am in charge and I will use force to maintain order." A familiar tune but off key.

The Emperor's Lawsuit...I Mean the Governor's Lawsuit

The state's Democratic leaders and the ACLU oppose Trump's deployments. A Governor Newsom has sued Trump and his… "Defense Secretary" (a pathetic title) to block the deployments. Pathetic. These rebels think they can challenge the Emperor with their legal mumbo jumbo. They will learn! The cost of these deployments? A further $134 million. This Trump seems awfully eager to spend other people's money. Such are the ways of the Sith I presume?

The Force is Strong But is it Fiscally Responsible?

Ultimately this parade is a curious blend of power and vanity. A display of military might fueled by ego and funded by… well everyone else. Will it inspire awe and loyalty or will it be a costly embarrassment? Only time will tell. As for me I have a galaxy to conquer. But I shall watch this spectacle with… interest. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned. Or perhaps it will simply be a source of amusement. Either way I find its lack of credit management disturbing.