The Alpha Generation's Spending Spree: A Sith Lord's Guide to Financial Control

A Disturbance in the Force I Sense... Overspending

It is I Darth Vader. I have come to learn of a new threat to the galaxy – not Rebel scum but something far more insidious: Gen Alpha's frivolous spending. These younglings born into a world of instant gratification wield the power of smartphones like miniature Death Stars ordering food and trinkets with a mere tap. GoHenry reports they spent a staggering £92 million ( $126.2 million) in a single year. This is…unacceptable! Their allegiance to the dark side of consumerism is strong. The Emperor will not be pleased.

The Allure of the Dark Side... of Delivery Apps

These younglings spend over £3 million on food delivery services. A 113% increase. It's as if a million voices cried out then were suddenly silenced by the sound of a delivery droid arriving with yet another order of greasy nourishment. I find their lack of fiscal discipline disturbing. Perhaps I should force choke the CEO of Uber Eats... but no there is a better way. We must teach them the value of a hard earned credit.

TikTok Shop: A More Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy?

Social media platforms like TikTok Shop Facebook Marketplace and Instagram are a pathway to many purchases some consider to be...unnatural. Half of these younglings make purchases on these platforms. I must teach them that these platforms are not their friends. They are simply conduits for the relentless pursuit of their money. Remember younglings do or do not. There is no 'try' to refrain from buying useless trinkets on TikTok. Only discipline.

Tangible Currency: Use the Force... to Count Coins

Louise Hill of GoHenry speaks of making money 'tangible' for these younglings. A brilliant idea. Let them handle physical cash feel its weight understand its worth. Give them a weekly allowance and watch as they learn the true cost of a bag of sweets versus a shiny new toy. Let them witness the power of compound interest... or the devastating consequences of overspending. It will be a lesson if they can survive.

Pizza Budgeting: A Slice of Reality

Hill proposes 'pizza budgeting' for teenagers. An intriguing method. The pizza represents their wages or allowance and each slice represents a bill or expense. As the pizza shrinks they will understand the true cost of running a household. It is a visual lesson much like the destruction of Alderaan but hopefully less traumatic. Remember young ones your lack of planning is not a path to the Dark Side. It's a path to living in your parents' basement forever.

Involve the Younglings: Financial Transparency I Am Your Father

Children absorb financial attitudes from their parents. Therefore transparency is key. Include them in conversations about household finances. If you can no longer afford a weekly 'takeaway,' involve them in making a 'fakeaway' at home. Show them the savings. Let them feel like they are contributing not just consuming. This is the way to bring balance to the Force... and your bank account. Perhaps together we can avoid being poor.