Apple Stock Apocalypse! Is This the End of the Fruit Company as We Know It?!

No Reprieve for the Fruit Stand!

Alright people Agent J here reporting live from the financial front lines. Seems like Apple's having a bad year and by bad I mean 'giant space bug trying to eat the Earth' bad. Some Moffett Nathanson fella a real suit if I ever saw one says Apple's stock is still 'a long way from out of the woods.' Woods? More like a jungle full of alien predators if you ask me. He's slapping a 'sell' rating on it and slashing the price target lower than a wormhole in Chinatown.

Trump's Tariffs: The New Neuralyzer for Apple's Profits

Turns out President Trump's tariffs are messing with Apple's mojo. China's the heart of their whole manufacturing gig see? So tariffs are like kryptonite to their cash flow. Even though they got a temporary pass on some stuff tariffs are still gonna sting like stepping on a Lego barefoot. This analyst guy is even cutting his long term earnings estimates saying the whole trade war thing is a lose lose. Reminds me of that time I had to fight that giant cockroach alien – no matter what I did it was gonna be a messy situation.

AI: Apple's Missing the Mothership?

But wait there's more! Apparently Apple's behind in the AI game. You know the thing that's gonna run the future? They're also not selling enough new iPhones. It's like they're trying to fight aliens with a slingshot! "There are no easy answers here. Apple is inextricably tied to opposing forces at the center of the trade tensions. China is the beating heart of the global electronics supply chain," he said. True story!

Google's Troubles: Apple's Dirty Little Secret?

And here's the kicker: remember those royalties Apple gets from Google? Well those might be illegal according to some judge. Those payments are like a quarter of Apple's income! It's like finding out your best informant is secretly working for the bad guys. The analyst is calling it an additional challenge to Apple.

Stock Drop: Lower than a Limbo Contest in Hell!

Since this Moffett fella started bad mouthing Apple the stock's price to earnings ratio has dropped faster than a politician's approval rating after a scandal. He's saying it could go even lower because Wall Street hasn't fully woken up to the stink bomb heading Apple's way. The guy is implying that all is not what it seems just like a lot of things in the MIB Universe.

CNBC Pro LIVE: The Alien Invasion Survival Guide?

If you're feeling lost in this financial chaos CNBC's having a live event at the New York Stock Exchange. They're promising 'expert insights' and a 'cocktail hour on the legendary trading floor.' Sounds like a good place to meet some contacts or at least find someone to blame when your portfolio goes belly up. Tickets are limited!