What In Tarnation! Stock Market's Gone Wild? Time to Buy, Says This Ogre!

Like An Onion the Market Has Layers of Fear!

Well howdy folks! Shrek here reporting live from me swamp... and let me tell ya even *I'm* seein' some crazy stuff in this here stock market. Seems like ever'body's runnin' around like a bunch of headless chickens cluckin' about somethin' called "volatility". Turns out it's like when Donkey gets a sugar rush – all over the place and nobody knows what's gonna happen next! But some fancy pants analysts are sayin' that all this huffin' and puffin' is actually a good thing! Who'da thunk?

VIX Index: Wall Street's Fear O Meter?

So there's this thing called the VIX index. Sounds like some kinda swamp creature but it's just a way to measure how scared Wall Street is. Turns out when that VIX spikes higher than me tolerance for Donkey's singin' the S&P 500 usually bounces back stronger than ever! Wells Fargo did some lookin' back as far as 1990 and right up to April 2025 and it turns out that the S&P goes up by 30% within the year after the VIX is showing the charts going crazy. Imagine that! It’s like waitin' out a storm in me outhouse scary at first but then the sun comes out and it's like nothin' ever happened. And get this there is a 90% chance the stocks bounce back positive!

Ogres Don't Panic They Strategize!

Edward Lee some smarty pants at Wells Fargo says it's a "potential opportunity." Opportunity? I like the sound of that! It's like findin' a whole patch of four leaf clovers in me swamp. So while all these fancy folk start screamin' from the rooftops they should keep calm. History shows that periods of higher volatility in the stock market leads to greater returns.

Trump's Tariffs: A Swamp Gas Scare?

Now there was this hullabaloo about Trump throwin' tariffs around like Farquaad throwin' decrees. Sent the market into a right tizzy! The S&P 500 took a bigger tumble than Donkey down a ravine! Callie Cox at Ritholtz Wealth Management said the VIX reached the top 1% of closes ever now that's high! But here's the kicker: these low expectations often lead to relief rallies! It's like when ya think ya gonna have to eat nothin' but onions for a week and then Fiona whips up a batch of somethin' tasty! People pile back into stocks as the original news isn't as bad as they thought it would be.

V Shaped Recoveries: Quicker Than a Gingerbread Man!

Callie who's been keeping her eye on things since 1990 says that half of the S&P 500's 14 biggest selloffs ended within a week! The selloffs are usually V shaped which means there is a quick downturn and then a quick rebound. That's faster than the Gingerbread Man can run from me! So you see the trend here? Volatility can lead to great opportunity. Just don't expect it to always be that way! After all history is not always gospel!

So Should You Buy? Shrek Says...

So the big question: should you buy? Well if you're in this for the long haul now might be the time to fill your boots! The "unexpected news part" is probably over but don't expect it to be the bottom of the sell off. Remember this is just one ogre's opinion. It's like Donkey always says "Sometimes things are more than they appear!" Now get outta me swamp and go make some money!