OMG Bank of America is BOOMING?! Is Netflix About to Steal All Our Money!

Bank of America Cashes In! Cha Ching!

Okay besties so like Bank of America is totally flexing right now! Their shares are up like 2% after crushing those analyst expectations. I'm not even gonna pretend I know what 'net interest income' is but apparently it's good! They made like $7.4 BILLION! I could buy so many plushies with that... Maybe even a lifetime supply of boba. 'Is this a W?' Uh yeah I think so!

Boeing's Got Some Turbulence?! Ouch!

Yikes! Boeing's in a bit of a nosedive apparently. China's like 'Nah we're good on the planes.' Down more than 3%! That's gotta hurt right? It's giving... drama. I hope they can fix things; otherwise who's gonna fly me to all those conventions?!

Dow's 'Perfect Storm'?! Sounds Spooky!

Okay this Dow thing sounds like a horror movie. Bank of America (again!) downgraded them saying it's a 'perfect storm' of bad stuff. Weak economy trade barriers... it's all just a bit too 'doom and gloom' for my liking. I need more positivity in my life! Maybe I'll just stream some cozy games to block out the bad vibes.

Citi's Gettin' Shifty (in a Good Way)!

Alright Citigroup is pulling a 'pro gamer move' and showing us how it's done! Exceeding expectations thanks to some fancy trading stuff. Honestly I just like the name 'Citigroup.' It sounds like a cool secret club. Can I get an invite please?

J&J's Sales Skyrocket!

J&J is killing the game with their sales forecast. I bet they're selling a lot of band aids because of all the paper cuts people are getting from reading all these articles about finance. They even mentioned tariffs on medical devices costing them millions ouch!

Netflix: Taking Over the World?!

Okay hold up! Netflix wants to be worth like a TRILLION dollars?! And double their revenue by 2030? That's some serious ambition! Also $9 billion in ad sales? Sounds like they're about to become the real final boss. I mean good for them but also... should I be worried about my streaming habits costing me my future?! 'I'm baby!' and I do not want to go broke!