Market Mayhem! Are We All Doomed to Be Boring and Responsible?!

Eisman Says What Now?!

Okay so Mr. 'I Bet Against Houses and Won' Eisman is flapping his yap again. Apparently there's going to be more market kaboom because of some orange dude and his 'tariff' thingies. Blah blah blah Econ 101 says tariffs are bad trade is good. Sounds like the most BORING game ever! Where's the boom? Where's the zap? If it's not fun it's not worth doing!

Trade War? More Like Trade Snore!

Eisman's yapping about how countries should 'beg' the US to do what they want. Seriously? Begging? Where's the fun in that?! I say we skip the begging and go straight to the explosions! Maybe then things will get interesting. As I always say Rules are made to be broken! Like buildings! Or faces!

Biggest Swing Ever! Whee!!!

Apparently the market did some kind of crazy dance and swung all over the place almost three thousand points! Sounds like a wild ride! Shame I missed it. I could've made it even wilder with a few well placed rockets. A little chaos never hurt anyone... permanently.

Losing Money? Now That's Just Sad.

Eisman admits he's 'lost plenty'. Boo hoo! Cry me a river of gunpowder! If you're playing the market game and not making a splash you're doing it wrong. Risk equals reward! Or you know a really big explosion! Besides money isn't everything. Blowing stuff up is priceless!

GDP? More Like 'Grossly Dull People'!

He's droning on about GDP and how some people are getting hurt. Look I get it. Things aren't always sunshine and rainbows. But moping around about it? That's not my style! Let's shake things up make some noise and maybe accidentally set a few things on fire! It's more fun that way!

Trump Did What He Said?! Shocking!

Apparently the orange dude promised tariffs and actually did them! Everyone's 'shocked'. Are you kidding me? Predictability is the enemy of fun! But hey at least now we have something to blame when the whole darn thing goes BOOM! Who's ready for some chaos?!