Is Your Portfolio Dunder Mifflin or Sabre?! Stock Market Winners and Losers Revealed!

Roblox and Google Team Up: A Virtual Schrute Farms?

Attention Dunder Mifflin Scranton employees! The so called 'future' is here and it involves Roblox and Google teaming up to shove ads into our children's video games! Roblox the online gaming platform is partnering with Google for rewarded video ads like those 'second life' games Michael was addicted to. Users will earn virtual prizes. This reminds me of when I tried to implement a beet based currency system at Dunder Mifflin. Needless to say it was not appreciated. But I see potential here. Imagine a virtual Schrute Farms where players earn beet bucks for completing tasks. The possibilities are endless!

One CEO to Rule Them All at On Holding

On Holding the athletic shoe company is streamlining its leadership to a single CEO structure. Marc Maurer is OUT! Martin Hoffman is IN! Power consolidation. This is exactly how I plan to take over Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Step one: Befriend the CEO (Done Michael is easily manipulated). Step two: Eliminate the competition (Jim I'm coming for you!). Step three: Profit! (In the form of regional manager status of course). This reminds me of the time I tried to 'fire' Stanley. I was only trying to motivate him!

Airline Stocks Downgraded: Turbulence Ahead!

American Airlines Delta and Southwest are experiencing some turbulence folks! A downgrade from Jefferies. This reminds me of the time Michael forced us to fly to Winnipeg to cheer up Holly Flax! These airline stocks are currently about as stable as Michael Scott's emotional state after a fight with Jan. "Somehow I manage"? I think not!

PVH's Earnings Beat: Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger Save the Day!

PVH the company behind Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger reported a revenue beat. I guess people will always pay a premium for brands. I bet Michael is wearing a Tommy Hilfiger shirt right now while thinking it is fashionable. I of course wear only the finest beet dyed shirts made right here at Schrute Farms. Quality affordability and earthy tones. Can't beat it. Bears can't beat it.

J&J's Talc Troubles: Bankruptcy Court Slaps Down Settlement!

Johnson & Johnson's proposed settlement related to talc lawsuits has been rejected by a U.S. bankruptcy judge. Apparently Johnson & Johnson's offer wasn't persuasive enough. This is what happens when you prioritize profits over people. Although I did not pursue legal action when I was injured and scarred by Michael's George Foreman Grill... I should have. It's always better to be feared than loved but in this case a little bit of both might have helped J&J.

Newsmax Goes Parabolic: Is It the New Schrute Farms of Media?!

Newsmax the so called 'conservative' news network had a meteoric rise in its first few trading days. Up 179%!! This must be what it felt like when I first started selling paper. Did I stumble? Did I fall? Did I get paper cuts? Yes yes and absolutely. But did I ever quit? Never. Neither does Newsmax. But if there is a new network on the rise there's always a risk of someone being number two. And number two is nobody.