Retirees Ditching Stocks?! Are You Donkey Serious!

I Like That Boulder That Is a Nice Boulder

Alright alright settle down everybody! Donkey here reporting live from... well wherever I can find some waffles. Anyway I heard some rumblings in the retirement swamp and lemme tell you it's got me more wound up than Shrek after someone messes with his swamp! Apparently some folks are thinking of ditching stocks like they're a bad batch of swamp gas movin' all their gold doubloons into cash and bonds. But hold your horses... or y'know hold your donkeys because the experts are saying that's about as smart as tryin' to teach a dragon to knit!

Long Term You Know!

These smarty pants fellas like this David Blanchett guy from PGIM (sounds fancy!) are sayin' that most retirees NEED stocks. Yeah you heard me right! Apparently stocks are the 'growth engine' of your money wagon makin' sure you don't run outta fairy dust before you kick the bucket. Blanchett says it's about 'long term returns'. Now I may not be the sharpest spoon in the drawer but even I know long term is important. It's like my friendship with Shrek – bumpy at first but now we're thicker than peanut butter!

Living Longer Than Ever!

Now here's a kicker: people are living longer! Seems like everyone wants to stick around to see if Shrek finally learns to share his swamp. They're callin' it 'longevity risk' – the danger of outlivin' your stash. Apparently folks are living 'til they're almost 80 now! And they're expecting a whole lotta 100 year olds poppin' up in the next few decades. So unless you wanna end up eatin' dirt and sleepin' under a bridge you better listen up!

Dialing Back on Stocks Is Dangerous!

Alright so maybe the idea of cash and bonds sounds like a cozy blanket on a cold night. But here's the thing: if you cut back too much on stocks you might have a harder time keepin' up with inflation. Yeah that sneaky little dragon that eats your money away! You also risk outliving your savings and nobody wants that. Stocks are like that crazy dragon you need to ride to get to the princess! They give you about 10% return each year and that's way better than bonds!

How Many Stocks Should You Really Have?

So how many stocks should you have? Well it ain't like countin' jellybeans. They got this fancy rule where you subtract your age from 110 or 120. So if you're say 65 you might want about half your loot in stocks! But everyone is different see! You gotta know yourself! If you get nervous every time the market sneezes maybe keep it lower! But if you're rolling in dough like a baker in Duloc you can risk it for the biscuit!

Diversification is KEY!

Now listen up! Don't go throwin' all your eggs in one basket! 'Cause you want to invest your money wisely. Don't put all your gold in just ONE stock like Nvidia or that fancy tech stuff! Get yourself a 'total market index fund' – it's like a party where everyone's invited! Also have separate piles of cash and bonds for when the stocks decide to go bananas. That way you won't have to sell your stocks when they're down see! So keep that swamp fires burnin' and those investments cookin'! Donkey out!