Oops!...They Did It Again! Market Rollercoaster Ride Has Me Saying 'Gimme More'!

Tesla's 'Toxic' Performance: Not That Innocent!

Okay y'all so I saw that Tesla's stock is doing a little dance south after Stifel cut their price target. They're blaming it on a slow Model Y rollout and some protests. Protests? Honey I know a thing or two about dealing with crowds! Maybe Elon should try a little 'Oops!... I Did It Again' – you know charm 'em! But seriously a 6% drop? That’s like a whole wardrobe malfunction! I hope they can 'Work B**ch' and get back on track because I need my electric cars to be fabulous and functional duh!

Trump's Tariffs: 'Gimme Gimme More...Taxes'?

Oh and speaking of drama President Trump is apparently playing hardball with car tariffs. He said he 'couldn't care less' if automakers hike prices. Seriously? Does he even realize how many cute cars are out there?! As if my shopping addiction isn't bad enough! This is so not 'Lucky' for consumers. I'm just saying maybe a little 'Piece of Me' should go to understanding the economy before throwing tariffs around like confetti. Just a thought!

Crypto Crash: 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'…With Stability!

And don't even get me started on crypto! Bitcoin took another nosedive dragging Coinbase and Robinhood down with it. It’s like one minute everyone's screaming 'To the moon!' and the next it's 'Oops!... I Did It Again' with my money. I feel like a 'Womanizer' being lured into a bad investment. Seriously is anyone else feeling this volatility? I need a stable relationship even if it’s just with my investments!

Rocket Man (and Mr. Cooper): A 'Crazy' Deal!

But hold on there's some good news! Rocket Companies is buying Mr. Cooper in a $9.4 billion deal! That's like a whole lotta zeros! Mr. Cooper is soaring while Rocket is dipping a bit. Maybe they should blast some 'Stronger' to celebrate! I mean who doesn't love a good merger? It's like finding the perfect dance partner – you just gotta hope you don't step on each other's toes!

Tech Troubles: 'Everytime' It's a Downturn!

Speaking of dips Palantir is having a rough week and Amazon is on its eighth week of losses! Eight weeks?! That's like an eternity in pop star years! Even Nvidia backed CoreWeave had a disappointing debut. It's like everyone's singing the blues. I just want to yell 'Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know' when the market's about to tank! Maybe they all need a little retail therapy…on Amazon of course!

Hut 8 and the Trumps: 'Circus' of Crypto!

And last but not least Hut 8 is merging with American Data Centers and Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump have a stake in it! Oh honey that's a whole 'Circus'! Bitcoin mining and strategic reserve development with a Trump twist? I'm not sure if this is gonna be a hit or a miss but you know I'll be watching with my bedazzled binoculars!