Trump Nukes 'Peacemaker' Promise: Did Someone Say Boom?

From 'Peacemaker' to Boom Bringer

Five months ago the big cheese President Trump said he'd be all about peace and unity. Now? We're hitting Iran harder than a Plasma Grenade stickin' to a Grunt. Apparently promises are like Plasma Pistols – fully charged one minute useless the next. Remember his inauguration speech? "Wars we never get into," he said. Yeah well tell that to the smoking craters in Fordo Natanz and Isfahan. It seems the ol' Commander in Chief has gone full 'glass the planet' on his own words. Oorah?

Truth Social: More Like Truth Detonator

Trump took to Truth Social like a Grunt to a Fuel Rod Cannon confirming the attack with a casual mention of dropping a "full load of BOMBS." Real subtle sir. Iranian state media is reporting damage and casualties but let's be real they're probably downplaying it harder than I downplay my need for a vacation. This whole situation is messier than a firefight in the Flood containment zone.

Broken Promises: Now With Extra Explosions!

Remember all that talk about preventing World War Three and ending chaos in the Middle East? Turns out that was just a smokescreen thicker than Covenant plasma. He even said we were "very close to World War" and that other people were "grossly incompetent." I guess he decided to show us how a competent world war starts. 'I need a weapon?' More like 'I need a reality check!'

Nuclear Ambitions vs. Peaceful Intentions

Trump's been screeching about Iran's nuclear ambitions for ages saying they "just can't have a nuclear weapon." Fair enough but he also promised peace. It's like saying you want a clean energy sword but you only have a Gravity Hammer. Conflicting objectives people! He even bragged about the Abraham Accords saying he wants peace. Well blowing up nuclear sites isn't exactly the best way to win friends and influence people is it? It's a Halo ring sized contradiction!

From 'Two Weeks' to Total War: A Diplomatic Masterclass?

Just 48 hours before the fireworks started Trump was all like "Let's wait two weeks and see if diplomacy works." Two weeks! That's longer than it takes a Hunter to decide whether or not to charge! Then BAM! Bombs away! Talk about a change of heart. It makes me think maybe Cortana has hacked his brain or maybe he's just got a really really bad case of trigger finger. No offense Mr. President but you're playin' with fire and I'm not talking about the cool kind from my flamethrower.

The JCPOA Gambit: A Calculated Risk or Epic Fail?

Trump's always harping on his decision to ditch the Iran nuclear deal (JCPOA). He called it "the single biggest thing I did." Okay maybe besides starting a war? The point is now that U.S. bombs are raining down everyone's wondering if this is the start of something bigger. Is it the end of diplomacy or just the beginning of a whole lot more chaos? I've seen enough battles to know that once the shooting starts it's anyone's guess what happens next. But one thing's for sure this ain't gonna be pretty. I'd rather face down the Didact than deal with this mess.