Jeep's New Cherokee: More Bang for Your Buck, or Just Another Warthog?

Lock and Load: The New Cherokee Deployed

Alright Marines listen up! Word from command (aka Jeep) is they're rolling out a new Cherokee. Seems like they're hoping this thing can turn the tide after a rough patch. Six years of sales declines? That's worse than my dating record after Cortana went AWOL. They're promising a hybrid option but they're being cagey about whether it's a full on plug in or just a 'lite' version. Either way let's hope it's got more juice than a Grunt after leg day.

Affordable? We'll See About That

They're talking about 'competitive pricing,' which is corporate speak for 'we're trying not to scare anyone away.' Last I checked the old Cherokee was pushing 30 grand which is about the same price as a small Pelican dropship (give or take a few plasma grenades). Jeep says this one will sit nicely between the Compass and Grand Cherokee. Let's hope it doesn't end up like the Arbiter in Halo 2 stuck in the middle of a civil war.

Mexico or Bust: Manufacturing Mystery

So where's this beauty being built? Seems like it's going south of the border. Apparently this decision was made before that Trump fella started slapping tariffs on everything. But hey if it means we get a cheaper ride I'm not complaining. Just hope they don't cut corners like those Covenant engineers trying to save a few credits on plasma rifles.

R.I.P. Old Soldiers

The old Cherokee and that Renegade thing got the axe. RIP. Probably why Jeep's been bleeding sales. Canceling models is like decommissioning a perfectly good Longsword fighter – makes no sense. Sometimes you gotta stick with what works even if it's a bit rusty. Unless it's a Needler then you just toss that thing.

Filosa's Gambit: Time to Step Up

Incoming CEO Antonio Filosa is supposed to be the savior of Jeep. He was leading the charge before and now he's got the big chair. No pressure Filosa! Remember what Sgt. Johnson always said: 'Men we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of nowhere to keep 'em from gettin' their filthy claws on Earth. But we stumbled onto somethin' they're after too.' In this case that 'somethin'' is Jeep's market share.

Is This Our Ticket to a Warthog?

So is this new Cherokee going to be the Warthog of SUVs or just another Covenant Wraith? Only time will tell. But if Jeep wants to win this battle they need to deliver on that promise of affordability and that hybrid powertrain better be worth a damn. Otherwise we might as well stick to commandeering civilian vehicles. I've always had a soft spot for that beat up pickup in Voi anyway. Hoo ah!