Hyrule's Princess Predicts: Will Oil Prices Trigger a Calamity?

A Barrel of Rupees?

Hylians gather 'round! Your Princess Zelda here reporting live from well Hyrule Castle (still standing thankfully). Seems like this whole 'oil' business is acting up again and it’s got me thinking 'Great Deku Tree not another crisis!' Apparently some squabble between Israel and Iran has folks worried the price of this goop might skyrocket. It’s like trying to catch a Cucco – one minute it's calm the next it's flapping madly and you are running for your life. US crude oil prices originally went up to $77.49 per barrel then decreased to $71.90 per barrel. While global benchmark Brent fell 99 cents or 1.3% to $73.24. One barrel contains 42 gallons. Can you imagine if we used this oil to power our Sheikah tech? The possibilities...and the potential for disaster...are endless!

Don't Get Cocky Trump

Consulting firm Rystad Energy says oil prices are unlikely to break above $80 per barrel. Apparently some fella named Trump wants oil prices near $50. Honestly that sounds like something Ganon would demand – everything cheap so he can afford more Bokoblin stew. Rystad said the escalation risks spiraling beyond the control of key stakeholders with Janiv Shah vice president of commodities markets at Rystad saying "We maintain our view that this is likely to remain a short lived conflict as further escalation risks spiraling beyond the control of key stakeholders,". I swear sometimes these 'stakeholders' sound like they’re straight out of the Shadow Temple...all cloak and dagger!

Bombs Over Barrels!

The article says Israel hit some 'natural gas facilities' and an 'oil depot.' Sounds like a recipe for a massive explosion the kind that would make even Daruk nervous. And get this: Iran supposedly damaged an oil refinery in a place called Haifa. It's a real clash of titans just like Link battling a Hinox but with higher stakes. Friday saw oil prices rally more than 7% after Israel launched a wave of airstrikes against Iran's nuclear and ballistic missile programs as well as its senior military leadership. U.S. crude oil prices jumped 13% in total last week. It was the largest move since March 2022 after Russia launched its full scale invasion of Ukraine. Let's hope they don't start aiming at Hyrule next.

Strait Expectations?

Here's the real kicker: Apparently there's this thing called the Strait of Hormuz where a fifth of the world's oil travels. One commander of Iran said they might shut it down! That's like trying to block the Zora River – pure chaos! Goldman Sachs thinks a closure could send oil prices over $100 a barrel. It seems like we may have to call in a favor from Ruto and ask her to ensure the Strait of Hormuz does not close.

The Fifth Fleet to the Rescue?

Now some folks are saying it's not so easy to close this 'Strait of Hormuz,' especially with the U.S. Fifth Fleet hanging around. One Helima Croft even mentioned that the Iranians could start targeting tankers or mining the straits. Mining the straits? Sounds like something out of a Captain Keeta pirate's playbook! She told CNBC's "Squawk Box " on Friday "I've heard assessments that it would be very difficult for the Iranians to close the Strait of Hormuz given the presence of the U.S Fifth Fleet in Bahrain but they could target tankers there they could mine the straits,".

A Princess's Plea

So what's the moral of the story? This whole oil situation is volatile. One wrong move and we could be facing a disaster of Calamity Ganon proportions. Let's hope cooler heads prevail and these 'stakeholders' remember that peace is always the best option...especially when it involves not blowing up crucial resources. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go meditate on the Triforce and hope for a stable energy market. After all Hyrule runs on hope...and a steady supply of rupees! And perhaps the US's Fifth Fleet.