Yo Adrian! Trump's Trade War Is Knocking Out Oil Prices!

Gonna Fly Now? More Like Gonna Cry Now!

Yo Adrian! It's Rocky here reporting from the streets and let me tell ya this oil market is lookin' like I did after fightin' Apollo Creed the first time – beat up and confused! This Trump guy with his trade war is throwin' punches faster than I can say 'Yo Adrian!' Oil prices are swingin' wilder than Paulie after a six pack and nobody knows what's comin' next. Remember what Mickey always said 'It ain't about how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit and keep movin' forward.' But even Mickey would be scratchin' his head at this mess.

Drill Baby Drill? More Like Chill Baby Chill!

They were all sayin' 'Drill baby drill!' but now the prices are so low these oil companies are gonna be drillin' for spare change! Trump put tariffs on everyone but China and then quicker than you can say 'Italian Stallion' he changed his mind! One day they're up next day they're down. It's like tryin' to train with a chicken – makes no sense! This Jim Burkhard guy from S & P says there's 'extreme uncertainty,' and I gotta tell ya he ain't lyin'. These oil guys are too scared to spend money. Who wants to invest when the rules change faster than Adrian changes her mind about dinner?

Confidence? I Haven't Seen That Since Apollo Started Singin'!

This Susan Bell lady from Rystad Energy is sayin' that nobody trusts anyone anymore! Like when Apollo told me he was gonna take it easy on me in the rematch! The safest thing to do is stop spendin' money she says. It's like when I told Adrian I was gonna quit boxing – didn't last long but it felt right at the time! Now everyone is scared to put money into the ground and that's bad for everyone. Even for Butkus and Linkus!

The Price Is Wrong Producers!

These shale oil companies they need $65 a barrel just to make a buck! Now the price is down in the low $60s. The Fed even did a study. It's like when I tried to make money with that robot Sico. Didn't work out too good! These companies gotta decide if they wanna keep the shareholders happy or keep pumpin' oil. Some experts are sayin' they might cut 50 rigs right away. That's like gettin' knocked down by Drago – you feel it!

Goldman Sachs? More Like Goldman Sacks!

Even the fancy guys at Goldman Sachs are sayin' the price is gonna drop more! They predict 58 dollars by next year. That's lower than my IQ when I'm hungry! This Walt Chancellor fella says if the price drops to $50 the oil growth will stop entirely! Then there's Trump putting tariffs on steel so making new wells will be costlier! This Burkhard guy says its like a 'hit'. I hate getting hit!

Trump's Chaos: The Ultimate Underdog!

These oil guys are furious! One of them said Trump's 'chaos is a disaster'! Another said 'I have never felt more uncertainty'. Seems like the whole world is in a prize fight with Trump and the rules keep changing! But hey you know what I always say 'It ain't over 'til it's over!' Even if the administration is chaos! Even Trump's own Energy Secretary is worried. It's like when Adrian told me I couldn't win. But I did. So who knows? Maybe Trump will pull a rabbit out of his hat. Or maybe this whole thing will end up like that time I tried to sell pet food. Who knew? He says it’s all “sausage being made.” I’m not even sure what that means!