Good News Everyone! Oil Prices Drop Amidst Trump's Iran Shenanigans!

Wernstrom! Another Fine Mess

Good news everyone! It appears the price of that sweet sweet crude oil has taken a tumble. Yes sir! A whole 1.22% for U.S. crude and 1.43% for that fancy global Brent stuff. Why you ask? Well it seems President Trump has been playing footsie with Iran again muttering about negotiations and White House visits. As I always say 'I don't want to live on this planet anymore,' but at least the gasoline for my Smell O Scope might be a tad cheaper.

Courageous? Or Just Confused?

Trump bless his heart claims the Iranians are being 'courageous' by suggesting a White House pow wow. Courageous? Or perhaps they've just seen his Truth Social account and realized diplomacy is the only way to avoid becoming an 'easy target'. You know like those poor space wasps I accidentally bred to be super intelligent only to realize they considered me an 'easy target' for… well let's just say it involved a lot of buzzing and very little lab work.

A Military Strike? Oh My Yes!

And then there's the ever present threat of a good old fashioned military strike. 'I may do it I may not do it I mean nobody knows what I'm going to do,' says Trump. Riveting stuff! It reminds me of the time I invented the Smell O Scope only to realize it could also be used to weaponize bad odors. The possibilities like the potential for international conflict are both terrifying and exhilarating. To shreds you say?

Unconditional Surrender? Bite My Robotic Ass!

Just yesterday it was all fire and brimstone on Truth Social – demanding Iran's 'unconditional surrender' and threatening the Ayatollah himself. Now it's 'Nothing is too late!' Make up your mind man! It's like when I try to explain the nuances of quantum entanglement to Zoidberg. He just stares blankly and then eats my slippers.

Irreparable Damage? I'll Be the Judge of That!

Meanwhile Khamenei is puffing out his chest warning of 'irreparable damage' if the U.S. joins Israel's little air show. Oh please! I've seen irreparable damage. I once tried to reverse the aging process and accidentally turned myself into a baby that spoke fluent Latin. Now THAT was irreparable damage! Sweet zombie Jesus!

So What Does This All Mean?

In conclusion it's all a big confusing mess. The price of oil is down Trump is sending mixed signals and the world is one bad hair day away from total annihilation. As I always say 'When will I learn?' Probably never. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go invent a device that translates dolphin speech into interpretive dance. Good news everyone!