Wake Me When They Need Me: Markets Shrug Off Global Chaos (Again!)

Another Day Another Near Apocalypse

So they tell me some sparks are flying between Israel and Iran. Oil's jumping gold's shiny the dollar's doing that weird 'I'm safe!' dance... Sounds like Tuesday right? I've seen worse fighting the Flood. At least those guys were honest about wanting to eat your face off. These markets are more complicated.

Gold: Shiny and... Useful?

Apparently when things go boom people run to gold. Makes sense. It's shiny. I prefer plasma grenades but hey different strokes. They say it's a 'stable store of value.' Whatever. All I know is it doesn't stop bullets. Maybe the Covenant should have invested in gold instead of plasma tech huh?

Dollar Smile: Is It Happy or Maniacal?

The dollar is strong. They call it the 'dollar smile.' I'm not sure if it's smiling because it's happy or because it knows something we don't. Either way it's probably up to something. Reminds me of Cortana when she got a little... rambunctious. Just hope it doesn't start singing show tunes and taking over global networks.

Stocks: Resilient or Just Stubborn?

Despite all the global fireworks those good ol' US stocks are hanging in there. They’re like that grunt who keeps charging even after you’ve emptied half a clip into him. Admirable in a terrifying sort of way. The S&P 500 Dow and Nasdaq all took hits but hey they'll probably be back for more. Can't keep a good financial instrument down apparently.

Ukraine Israel Hamas: Business As Usual?

So these markets are shrugging off Russia's invasion of Ukraine and the Israel Hamas war like they’re just mild inconveniences. Makes you wonder what it would take to actually get their attention. Maybe a Covenant invasion? No wait then they'd probably invest in plasma rifles. I need a weapon.

Boeing: Crash Landing at the Air Show

Boeing had a bad week: Shares are up but after an Air India flight crashed the CEO canceled plans to go to the massive air show. This air show sounds like a regular air show but with planes... What is it good for? Absolutely nothin' say it again! (War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin' say it again!)