Yabba Dabba Doo-m and Gloom? Chevron's Got the Flintstone Blues!

Crude Awakening for Chevron!

Yabba Dabba Doo! It's ol' Fred Flintstone here reporting live from Bedrock! Seems even the big shots at Chevron are feeling the pinch these days. They're pumpin' the brakes on those share buybacks and it all boils down to one thing: those darn crude oil prices are doin' the Stone Age slump! Blame it on that Donald fellow and his tariffs plus those OPEC+ fellas pumpin' more goo outta the ground! It's enough to make a fella shout 'Wilmaaaaa!'...but quietly so the neighbors don't think I'm in trouble again.

Less Dino Ribs for Everyone!

Now Chevron's still planning on buyin' back a whole lotta stock this year – thinkin' somewhere between 10 and 20 billion clams er dollars. But they're slowin' it down for the next few months. Less than they splurged in the first quarter that's for sure. It's like when Wilma tells me I can have a whole rack of dino ribs...then only gives me half! 'It's good for your figure Fred!' she says. I tell ya a man can only take so much.

Wall Street: Eh Not Bad Not Great

Those fancy Wall Street types were scratchin' their heads over this. One fella some guy named Biraj said Chevron is just being careful. Like skatin' to where the puck is goin' he says. I don't know nothin' 'bout pucks but I know if you see a sabertooth tiger you run the other way! Maybe that's what Chevron's doin'.

Bottom Line Blues

The numbers don't lie folks. Chevron's net income took a nosedive steeper than when Barney tries to water ski! Down more than 30%! Ouch! Seems like low oil prices are hitting 'em hard especially that production business. It’s enough to make a grown caveman cry! But not this caveman! I got a Dino sized appetite to feed!

Refining to the Rescue? Sort Of...

Well their refining business in the US did a little better swinin' to a profit after gettin' clobbered last quarter. But even that's down from last year. Kinda like when I win a bowling tournament then lose all the money playin' poker with Barney. One step forward two steps back!

Hess Mess: Trouble in Guyana

And hold on to your hats folks 'cause Chevron's tryin' to gobble up Hess but ExxonMobil is throwin' rocks in the water. Seems there's some argument over assets in Guyana. It's like when I try to sneak a second bronto burger at the drive in and Barney tries to steal it right off my plate! Yabba Dabba DON'T do that Barney!